Is it so wrong to want to give the kids up, sell the house and not tell anyone where I'm going. I would not do this in a million years, but the thought of it is like a fantasy. To go where Nobody knows my name. To start so totally fresh that even I don't know what I'll do next. Is it so wrong that I don't want to feel anything anymore. I've had enough. I wouldn't do anything to end it, but the pain gets the best of me at times. The very thought of trading in my memories for a break from this pain is tempting. I know this amounts to a daydream. It's impossible not to feel guilty about it. But looking at the options of my future I'd almost consider it. To go where I'm unknown. Pretend this didn't happen to my perfect family.
No, there's nothing wrong with dreaming of running away. You're describing escaping into fantasy to give yourself some small respite from things you can't escape in reality.
If you try to run away in reality, or if you spend so much time in the fantasy that you hurt those around you then it's a different question, but it doesn't sound to me like that's what you're doing. When grief is overwhelming then dreaming that you could escape it helps manage the pain a little, it may be an umbrella against a hurricane, but it may also be the only relief you have available.