My husband died by suicide on July 26, 2019. One month and five days after his 48th birthday. We had been married just over 27 years. I just can't believe that part of my life is over. I can't believe I will probably live more years without him than I had with him. This fourth month has been the hardest yet. How in the world am I supposed to do this?
With as much gentleness and kindness to yourself as you can. My partner died this spring, and I absolutely can't think about a whole life without him yet. It's like trying to stare into the sun. On a good day, I can think weeks or months into the future, as long as I don't think explicitly about him. Recently, as I passed the 8 month mark, I've begun occasionally being able to think a year or more out. Things like "where might I be living in a few years?" or "will I still be working the same job?" are sometimes ok, but not "will I be in a new relationship?" or "how will I get by without Skip?" On a hard day, I'm just trying to survive the moment I'm in. It seems like the only thing we can do is keep turning toward our grief, keep being attentive and move forward one step at a time.
Thank you for your kind reply. I never thought he would be with me always I thought I at least had 20 more years. This time is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Be kind to yourself and be patient. Cry when you need to. I've been widowed for a year and have realized slowly that self care is the only way for me to survive this pain.
I have learned to say NO a lot . It hasn't gotten any easier, I'm learning to carry the grief now. Baby steps. Some days it's no steps gained and that's ok too. I believe for me this will be a long process
sending you you a hug.
Thank you. Some days it is just enough to be up and dressed. I have a lot of those days.
Hugs to you too.
My husband died from suicide on 8/23/2019, 2 days before his 50th birthday. We were married for 24 years and together since college.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to suicide July 26, 2019. He had just turned 48. I was 46 at the time of his passing. We had been married just over 27 years.
Thank you for your response Alma. I am very sorry for your loss as well. How are you doing? I am trying to keep it together for my 3 kids but it is very hard and lonely. People try to help but they don’t really undersyand and have there own family commitments on the weekends.
It is very hard and lonely. And I hate weekends too. For the first time in my life I look forward to Monday. I have two sons and they are both adults. Only one still lives at home. I am fortunate that I can cry whenever I need to.
I am also in therapy, attend a loss survivors group occasionally, and live on the Alliance of Hope forum. It's free and easy to join. It is only for loss survivors so I find it a very safe space.
I have 2 daughters ages 18 and 21, and a 10 year old son with high functioning Aspergers. Where do you live we are in NJ.
I live in Camden County
You are in jersey? We should meet up sometime. I will figure out how to send my email to you privately.
Born and raised in South Jersey.