Larry, that must be hard. I don't know if it is true (much of what my husband told me about his early years turned out to be false, or so he claimed later) but my husband's mother reportedly never told her husband or her kids how sick she was. My husband carried steamer trunks of emotional baggage over that for his whole life. I'm sure your wife was trying to spare you, but whenever I participate in the online cancer community that I still do, I tell people "Please include your spouse or significant other. It's important to be a team during an illness like this.
Talking helps. Please stop by here whenever you need to.
Hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, talking helps. Just as much, knowing that there are people who aren't "tired of hearing about it" and wondering why you can't just get over it helps, too.
Keep reading and posting. You're still in the "shock" stage.
There is a lot of wisdom in the "Just be" advice. Keep breathing...even when it hurts.
And bro hugs from a fellow widower.