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Lost my wife on January 20th. Just need to talk with someone who understands what I am going through

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So very sorry for your loss... just try to "be" right now, there is no right or wrong ... sending (((hugs)))) take good care of yourself...
Yes. Sometimes it seems like the people we are closest to really don't have a clue on what we are feeling. I'm sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly 11 months ago. It was about 6 weeks after the accident, I felt like my friends and family "went on with life" and really didn't want to see me cry or be sad anymore.
This is a great place....everyone is experiencing the loss of our other. As Patience right or wrong...each of our grief journey has different paths. Please do take care of yourself right now. Posting your feelings will help.
Thanks Michelle. I am just at a loss now as to where I go from here. My wife first showed signs of sickness in September 2016. But it wasn't until December that things really started to get bad. As I found out after she died, she knew how bad things were but didn't share that info with me. I never gave up hope that she would recover. Larry

Larry, that must be hard. I don't know if it is true (much of what my husband told me about his early years turned out to be false, or so he claimed later) but my husband's mother reportedly never told her husband or her kids how sick she was. My husband carried steamer trunks of emotional baggage over that for his whole life. I'm sure your wife was trying to spare you, but whenever I participate in the online cancer community that I still do, I tell people "Please include your spouse or significant other. It's important to be a team during an illness like this.

Talking helps. Please stop by here whenever you need to.

Thanks Diane. I just need to try to get through this. Talking it through I think will help me a lot. That is why I reached out to your group.
Larry, so glad you did reach out. It's true what a Michele says, and what you instinctively knew, talikg about it here will really help. My husband was sick for many years, but I think he knew before I did when the end was really near. We never got a chance to really talk about it. First, talking about it for us would have meant accepting the finality of death. And even though in the back of my mind somewhere I knew he would die... my mind didn't want to accept it. Then when he finally did die, it was just so surreal. And it was true for me to that those who had never experienced the loss of a spouse or life partner, could never understand...
My wife fiirst showed signs of being sick in September 2016. She was the type thst did not like to go to the doctor. She did not like getting shots. Therefore she would live with a little pain to avoid going to the doctor. By the time that I took her to the dictor,in September it had been 5 years since she been to see a doctor. As I now know by the time she went to the doctor things had advanced too far. She was told information that it was deadly serious but she didn't discuss that with me wanting us to have the best possible life until the end.

Hugs.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Yes, talking helps.  Just as much, knowing that there are people who aren't "tired of hearing about it" and wondering why you can't just get over it helps, too.  

Thanks Medea. Thanks for taking time to talk with me. I am not sure how this works. Is it be necessary for me to repeat what I have already or can you see it on the screen?

Keep reading and posting. You're still in the "shock" stage.

There is a lot of wisdom in the "Just be" advice. Keep breathing...even when it hurts.

And bro hugs from a fellow widower.

Thanks John. You are right sometimes I still feel the shock of what happened. It does hurt a bunch.
To continue on with how things developed with my wife, she had her first cat scan in September. We had planned a month trip to the beach for the month of October. According to my wife she said the doctor said for us to go on and we would continue with the medical treatment when we got back. So off the the beach we went on October 1st and stayed the entire month. She showed no signs of being sick while we were there. In fact, we had a wonderful vacation.


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