Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I have heard so many wonderful things about some wonderful men and women here.  Many of you have heard all about how perfect for me, my Jerry was.  I love him plain and simple...warts and all!  I love all of his many quirks and craziness. 

I was reminiscing recently with my daughter and Jerry's daughter and we laughed about what a mess Jerry was.  So, today I was looking around at all of his stuff that I don't have the heart to move yet.  

You can't tell of course but I'm typing this with a smile.  Jerry was a mess, he made messes everywhere and didn't give a rip about mud on the carpet.  That's why they make carpet cleaners, he'd say.  He had all of his papers in cardboard boxes IMPORTANT stuff.  He had hundreds of them.  It drove me and his daughter crazy!  To give him credit, he did know what was in which box.   He never replaced the toilet paper ever, not even after careful instructions.  It worked just as well if it isn't on the roller he'd say.  His vehicles were atrocious.  He had so many water bottles and just plain trash thrown down in the floor boards that stuff would literally fall out when you opened the door.  He does not litter he'd say, well hon, how about a trash can?  Once I had to protest riding with him until he cleaned his mess up.   He would not try new foods, certain restaurants where for certain foods and there was NO deviation.   If something wasn't just right he wouldn't eat it.  He loved fried okra...i think it's gross but anyway the batter had to be a certain thickness and a certain color. If not he wouldn't eat it.  That is just one of his food quirks.  He was really a easy going man but if you crossed him he held a grudge forever.  There were no second chances with him.  He couldn't work a microwave, it's always been a marvel to me that he could run a business and 100 different types of equipment but he was helpless in the kitchen.  If he couldn't find the remote, he'd wait on me to come home to find it for him.  Really??  LOL  He was a mess, but he was MY mess and I love him so much!

After all of that I gotta say, he did indeed always put the toilet seat down! :)



Views: 433

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

You can do it!  

Hi Rainy.  I read your post earlier and it made me chuckle.

But first I have to relate this story.  And since reading your post I need to see if this book was indeed published.

Some time back a friend told me this story about a grieving widow who after years of taking care of her terminally ill husband - while going through that difficult process of clearing her husband's personal belongings she comes across these daily journals that he kept.

She decides to read it and gets the schock/horror of her life.

Her husband had been making daily Dear Abby entries relating his most awfully damming things about her.  According to his very colourful accounts, she was the most vile person under the sun.  And poor him for having to endure this montrosity.  

Anyway after she got over her initial shock she began to see the funny side and decided to share the contents of his journals.  It  was truly hilarious.  My friend could not contain her laughter.

Any, let's get back to grumbling.  A study was done that revealed that women who were widowed mostly lived longer than men because there was so much that he demanded.   

Take care 

So let's unpack that bit about living longer.   I know that we would all prefer our husbands with their quirks.

My husband would sometimes refuse to eat when we were invited out because he did not like the look of the food that our host had prepared.   And two minutes into the drive home he would tell me how he was looking forward to me making him something to eat because he was starving.  Ugh!  I would tell him that it was not flattering ...at least he cleaned the dishes afterwards.  

Do we eventually calm down and live more mindfully because of the pain of the loss?  Late night cooking aside.

LOL LEV, Jerry would nibble and push food around on his plate, but if he didn't like it he wouldn't eat it either!  I have been embarrassed by those antics

My Frank would cook his own food sometimes and I would cook mine. I would make enough so I could have leftovers. After he ate his food, he would ask to "try" mine and would wind up finishing what I had made (I was a MUCH better cook than him!!) I didn't mind it then - never did get any leftovers!!

Jerry would wait until I finished everything for the night and settled into my spot on the sofa, then he'd ask me if I'd make him some popcorn...I always said, "You know I will."  I had him spoiled and he loved it.  Me?  Not so much ALL of the time!  LOL 

We used to have popcorn many Sunday afternoons watching sports. He always said, You make the best popcorn, like I had a secret recipe for it!!

It's funny how the things that would cause an eye roll, or a frustrated sigh are things that make us smile now.  

Rainy, so true. My husband liked to tease—take me by surprise from behind and grab me. Stuff like that, especially when I was working in the kitchen and busy. Often times he would push the limits until I’d holler and pretend I was angry. He would snicker and walk away. I wasn’t really mad, he knew that. It was his way of interacting and you know, I still think about that. And miss it.

So do I girl, SO DO I!  

RSS

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service