A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Memorial celebrations
Please share your experiences, your ideas. Not just for services: but for anniversaries, later dates, and others. Ritual, party, wake? Memorial dinner?
People are always looking for ideas about how to include little kids in memorial rituals and celebrations.
All of this is wide open -- but we have to look for it -- because those of us in the US are so religiously diverse. Those of us with few traditions may be stymied -- others may relish finding what works best for their family.
But the traditional ceremonies of each culture are totally worth sharing, too. What works? What's magical? How did it all go for your family?
What was the significance? Most importantly, what did you eat?
You can share photos and video, here, too.
Tags: celebrations, culture, family, memorials, parenting, religion, rituals
Views: 1910
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Skylark on -
I want to share a bit about Philip's memorial service. We both were in the choir at our church, and it is kind of a silly little thing all the choir members do, if we really like an anthem or hymn, we'll say, "Oh, I want this one at my funeral." So, the choir members pretty much have their music chosen.
When I went in to meet with the staff to arrange Philip's service, I already knew what I wanted. I went right down the list. The priests and the choir director kept smiling. I finally asked, "What?"
They said they were used to people not having any idea, except for maybe one or two hymns, but I had the whole service down, bible readings, to final hymn.
I dreaded the service. I figured it would be the worst day of my life. My beloved husband gone, except for whatever was in that little brass jar, me in the front pew, trying to hold it together. It would be awful.
The moment came. The priest walked me in. I was shocked. The pews were nearly empty. Where were all our friends?
Fr. David knew what I was thinking. He leaned over and whispered to me, "They're all in the loft."
Everyone who had ever sung in the choir, past or present, plus people from two community choral groups that Philip and I had belonged to came to sing at his service. The choir loft was packed!
It was glorious. I was so proud. You know, I didn't shed a tear. I loved my church family and my husband so much at that moment. And, I never felt more loved, and more supported.
-
Permalink Reply by Boo on -
I'm scattering half of Cliff's ashes by sending them up in three separate fireworks. The two that we've already launched are below ... and I will launch the third one with his family, from home - when the house renovations are done.
-
Permalink Reply by Boo on
-
Supa, I love you. Because you posted the Modern Mourner link on Facebook, I checked it out and found this. It's perfect. We played Viking Horns at his funeral and Cliff and I both wanted a viking funeral for him (clearly that's not allowed in the UK these days!) but this means that he gets it. I've contacted the company to ask them prices.
http://www.scattering-ashes.co.uk/where-to-scatter/cremated-ashes-s...
I love it.
-
Permalink Reply by Eileen on -
The kids and I raised painted lady butterfly's and we released them at the graveside on the death anniversary. It was really nice and a fun thing to do especially with children.
-
Permalink Reply by Scottish Helen on -
My husband died almost 1 month before his 43rd birthday, his body was cremated and initially I had thought about scattering his ashes somewhere, however, my mind was changed by wishes expressed by his mum and also thinking about the children, so on Willie's 43rd birthday I had a small family gathering in the house and together with Willie's mum and two children we took a small amount of ashes and scattered them around an apple tree in our back garden. Immediately afterwards we went to the cemetery and had a service where we interred the rest of his ashes in a family plot, beside his gran and his brother. So even though he was cremated he has a headstone that the family can visit. I then travelled with family and close friends to St Andrew's - where Wille and I had our first date - we all had a beautiful meal overlooking the sea and after eating we let Helium balloons - shaped like stars - float up the the sky with messages of love attached x
-
Permalink Reply by Momtofour on -
We're not a religious family at all, so there wasn't anything religious for our one year "celebration". I took the kids to Florida for two weeks for our vacation of a lifetime. We were so busy on vacation that I didnt get a balloon on the actual date, but on the day after. Now I know we aren't religious, but we still released a balloon for him with our messages on it. It was just symbolic for us mostly.
I don't know what we will do this year when we hit the two year mark. I'll probably do something special, but I dont know what. Knowing my late husband, he wouldn't care if we did or did not do anything lol.
-
Permalink Reply by Dawn- Clouds Mum on -
On July 16 my family, friends and I plan to take boats out on the river and scatter Keith's ashes where he swam as a child. He has told us all many times that as a kid he would jump on the cream boats that used the river during the war years and when the boat was half way across he would jump off and swim back to the bank. July 15 would have been his 81st birthday and this is the closest Saturday when we can all get together.
We will also scatter flowers on the water, mid winter here though so flowers will be limited to what we can get on the day. My daughter and I are in the process of planning the day along with my friends who have the boats. After we intend to come back to the house and have a barbeque. We had one for his 80th birthday last year, so that is a tradition that the family will continue to mark his birthday every year. Not sure what we will do to mark the anniversary of his death, that one will be hard because it is also our Wedding Anniversary. Any ideas would be welcome.
-
Permalink Reply by nature girl on -
On the one year anniversary we came together with family for Mark's favorite dinner. I gathered 25, 4-5inch smooth river rock and everyone took a permenant marker and wrote memories about him on the stones. Some were simple statements like, charming, handsome, wildman and some were memories. I have three candle sticks in a large wood tray and the stones surround them. Other stones are in the windowsill , on coffee tables or on the kids nightstands, with a picture of him.
-
Permalink Reply by SusanJae on -
On Michael's birthday last year (the first without him) I walked to St. Patrick's Cathedral and went to Mass which was somewhat bizarre because I'm a non-practicing Catholic. But I was raised in Catholic schools and church and for some reason I went over to St. Patricks. I know they have mass every day and I work in Rockefeller Center. It was amazingly comforting. I don't know why. Both of us were raised Catholic but neither of us practiced and his service was non-religious. I plan to go again this year.
We are going to be doing our first commemoration as a family this coming weekend. Michael died of a brain tumor and we are walking/running in the Race for Hope in DC. May is brain tumor month and Michael's birth month is May.
So we decided to go to DC, do the Race, visit the Wall on Saturday (he was a Vietnam Vet), have dinner on Sat night and talk about him and toast to him and do the Race on Sunday. I also volunteered at the Race and hope to make connections to be part of the community raising money for brain cancer.
I am still wondering what to do on the 2nd anniversary in August. I didn't do much last year as I was plastered to the bed in debilitating grief but want to do something this year.
-
Permalink Reply by Sleepless in Chicago on -
For our first Father's Day (last year) my little ones (4, 6 & 6) brought donuts and layed a blanket out and had a donut picnic at the grave...I know, sounds a bit odd....But we left him his favorite donut - the girls talked about it afterwards very enthusiatically, wondering if maybe the squirrels would eat it, birds, the ants....they enjoyed it, which surprised me a bit. They liked it so much that they insisited on doing this for his birthday too. It made them happy, so now it has become our little tradition. I sometimes even chuckle a bit because these people are probably driving through going....okay...that's odd!
-
Permalink Reply by Dawn- Clouds Mum on
-
Who cares what others think Amanda. It is what works for you and the little ones. I think it's a nice way for you to spend those special days. That is a lovely tradition to institute and if the little ones love it why not do it.
-
Permalink Reply by jrclowery on -
I LOVE that idea! What a wonderful way for you and your children to celebrate him!
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- Next ›
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
HOT TOPICS!
© 2013 Created by Supa Dupa Fresh.
