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Besides the lost of my husband, I am loosing the house I live in, my vacation home, my medical insurance and his pension.  I read all these blogs about people traveling and fixing up their houses.  Did any one have major financial issues like I am.  I now have three jobs and it still is't enough to pay the basic bills like food, tv, cell phone, electic, heat, car, car insurance and list goes on.  its not that we lived beyond our means but two incomes (one really strong one) can pay the bills.  One little one like mine can not.  Did anyone have these issues..besides me.  all I want to do is grieve but there is always a job I must go to


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Well you are doing pretty good with just losing your daughter. I can't image having nback to back lost. I can't even handle one. You are a strong lady

Crying,   I have lost two adult children, my eldest Son at 23 yrs. old killed in a car by a drunk driver 17 years ago, my daughter last year after organ failure due to alcoholism at age 37, and a husband before this one who also died from heart related problems after bypass surgery at age 48. My soulmate of 10 years died just over a month ago of a massive heart attack, and i found him dead on the floor of the garage. He was 57 yrs. old. So yeah, i think i'm doing ok. after all of that, sometimes i don't know how though. I certainly have had to find a lot of inner strength, and have been on this journey of grief for a long time now, but it never gets any easier, but i figure i'm going to have one big reunion when i join them all when my time comes around.

There is no words I can even say to you for the pain you have and are going thru. The little heart I have left goes out to you. I guess I should be grateful I only have to deal with this one lost. I don't know how you get up each day...this one put me over the edge. You are strong

Crying, That's what my friends say to me too, they don't know how i have coped. Believe me somedays i wish i didn't have to get up anymore either, but i have two wonderful boys (my Sons), and a cute little dog that need me to be here, so i keep going for them.

I think as the Pink Floyd song goes i'm just Comfortably Numb.

Yes, the financial aspect of this deal is freaking horrible.  My husband could not get life insurance as he had a pre-existing medical condition.  After he died, my boss said "You know you could have had 20k life insurance if you had signed him up in the first 30 days".  Thanks, Bitch.  Why did I need that information?  And why are you giving it to me now?  Just to make me feel stupid?  I live paycheck to paycheck...and always having to go get payday loans..which puts me further in debt.  My biggest fear is that hospitals will come after me for my husband's unpaid medical bills..which in is a community property state.  When we were married, he had disability which paid for all the basics, and my income was pretty much we were able to travel, do what we wanted and I could buy that dress at Kohls if I wanted...Now I am sad, broke and lonely.  And I was just about to get to the "clean slate" credit state.  Now, I have medical bills (my own) from having to go to the hospital over the death of my husband.  The whole deal is shitty.  BUT - no matter what I will make it.  I will be OK. I will not only survive but I will thrive.  I will find a way. The death of my husband will NOT be the death of ME. period.

Well your last sentence...keep your head high and stay strong...hugs

Good for you aed. I wish I was like you. The death of my husband was the death of me

I lost my husband's business, which was our main source of income.  We were building a house and w/the money we saved & w/the sale of our other house were going to be debt free.  We had put our house in a trust & basically abandoned the trust but the money from the sale of our house went into a trust to pay for our two children's college education.  My husband had a drug addicted son from his first marriage, a married adult son, whom he was estranged from so he left him $1 in his will and I got everything else.  

I am from Texas and lived in a county where the Probate Judge was as crooked as the day is long and all the lawyers cover for each other (and I am a lawyer who bucked the system so I made lots of enemies).  I have spent over 10 years in 4 lawsuits, won three of the four then had to file bankruptcy.  The lawsuits & death threats have destroyed my health and I am on disability and facing more surgeries.  The lawyers paid off the bankruptcy judge and she gave them a judgement.  All my kids college money, all the equity in the house, all my mother's retirement (which she now needs) is gone to crooked lawyers.

Lawyers & state agencies say this is wrong and I know it is wrong b/c I am a lawyer but no one will take my case.  My state reps won't help, my church won't help.  Trying to sell my house but I can't afford the repairs (mold damage) to even put it on the market.  I've moved to another city to live w/my adult daughter and I am grinding on her last nerve b/c of my depression & health issues.  My son married a girl who doesn't like me so he won't have anything to do w/me.  He says he doesn't want them coming after him or knowing where he and his wife live b/c he has to protect her from his violent drug addict half brother but basically to hell w/his sister and I.

This life does suck.  I want to go back to work but most days can't get out of bed and I just spent the entire morning paying bills from my bed while trying to watch uplifting movies on tv.  I think I am going to watch the "Girl w/the Dragon Tattoo" and maybe I'll feel better about my life.  Maybe get some pointers on how to steal some crooked person's money, hide it in the Cayman Islands and finally have a life again.  

If you find out how let me know....I haven't done bankruptcy yet I figure maybe I have another two years left on my life insurance. I try to pay my bills as I should but don't Make enough money . I called the credit card companies and I'm told ready for this....I don't make enough money for them to work out a deal with me....go figure so basically I cut down on on pasta I try to do the right thing in this world but no one is willing to help...

After filing bankruptcy, my mom opened credit cards for emergency use for my children while they were in college b/c I couldn't plus she opened one for me.  My sister found out & made her feel guilty and she opened cards for two of her children.  Long story short, one of my children & my niece & nephew defaulted so I threatened bankruptcy w/the CC companies.  If you were to file bankruptcy, you have to take a credit counseling course, which is so stupid b/c none of what happened is within your control.

What I am saying is I got 2% interest on the five credit cards in my mom's name regardless of her income w/the threat of bankruptcy.  I would try again; however, I had to close the accounts so make sure you have one you can keep open & use.  It took the interest payments from $75+ per month to less than $10 per month.  But I did have to close them.  I am so sorry for your troubles.  I keep telling myself if I won the lottery I would start a nonprofit for widows to help them out of just this thing.  The credit card companies are downright rude.  One of the reasons I had to file bankruptcy is my drug-addicted stepson stole our credit cards & charged the max on them.  And, even though I filed a police report & the credit cards knew about it, they still said, "Tough, you have to pay them off."  It would have been better had it been a stranger than a relative ruining my credit.

I had difficulty replying her so I posted in comments to you.

I had to declare bankruptcy due to my late husband's medical bills. He was out of work for three years while he was sick, and I had really never worked. My children were still small....

You are not alone. 


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