New Boyfriends Mother... Not understanding...

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sleepless in Chicago on May 7, 2011 at 10:48pm

Hmmm...ok this is my issue with FB status to widow.  I went to change my status, and found that when you change it to Widow, then you are NO LONGER YOUR SPOUSE'S FRIEND.  I was shocked.  I use my husband's page to go to and vent.  His friends leave great memories on there...it's a way for all of us to keep linked and it really helps me to know how much he is still missed.  I kind of use it to talk to him.  So, if I decide to widow myself, I can't do that anymore.  I was furious until I remember that FB was invented by young (not so dumb - but not educated with widow etiquette) boys.  Does anyone else have this issue?  I usually just leave my status private...

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by NMWidower on May 9, 2011 at 4:05am

If this removes you as a friend that is a recent change.  When I changed mine in Janaury I did not see this. 

 

Peter in a similar discussion reminded us if you have your spouses password you can always add yourself back in.

 

Is that what the latest message said?  Not just the oh so tactless "This will cancel your relationship with "X" upon saving.  Did it really say you will be removed as their friend?

 

You can also if you did not change it simply adjust your facebook relationship status to be private too.  I did that for a few months till I was finally ready to change mine to widowed.

 

If they did make it that way now its new and its very stupid and very insensitive to a widow/widower.  I tried to search and see if I could see anything about this but could not so no help there..  Let us know if you find anything else on this or hear of any updates on this b/c this seems definitely new ...

 

Pat-NMWidower

 

Note: found two older articles on this.  Interesting never know of the "Memorial State" for a profile before

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1932803,00.html

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1916317,00.html

 

here is another:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/10/27/facebook_memorials/

 

Not sure i like the "Memorialized" state of the profile...

 

here is the link to that:

https://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=deceased

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Sleepless in Chicago on May 9, 2011 at 8:34pm

Yep, when I go to change it there is a pop up that states we will no longer be friends. I memorialized his account, so it's no longer a regular FB page. It's BS.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by NMWidower on May 9, 2011 at 8:44pm

Wow Amanda, that is stupid.  I wonder when they made that change, it has to be within the last few months.  If you were removed as a friend with the status change were you able to add yourself back in?  This seems like such a stupid change by them.  Sorry about that..

 

I mean the whole concept of memorializing was so existing friends could still post.  I think its asinine they would remove you as his friend when you changed to widowed.  I think this needs to have some noise made about it.  This is terrible..

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Krista Westervelt (whoknows) on May 9, 2011 at 9:59pm

Hmm.... I switched my status to widowed & I am still "friends" w/ my late husband on Facebook. When it says it will 'cancel your relationship' it just means there won't be a link to your late spouse's profile from the little relationship status part like there used to be. That's all.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Cyna on May 9, 2011 at 9:49pm

I am sooo glad you posted this about Facebook.  I've keep my status as "married" even though my husband died in July.  I'm not "single" and I don't want to date.  I considered changing my status to "widowed."  Now, I'm glad that I didn't.  I'll just stay married until Facebook makes some changes.

 

Cyna

www.27twenty-seven.blogspot.com

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Israel Girl (Chris) on March 10, 2012 at 7:35pm

I changed my relationship status to "Select Relation."  I don't feel comfortable with "widowed" because I live alone with my kids now, and I'm a little wierded out announcing that.  I am developing a "it's nobody's business" attitude about things like that lately.

At the same time, a new friend and potential date actually checked my FB, and asked (politely and gently) because he honestly didn't know if I had been divorced, etc.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by smarine on December 19, 2012 at 12:00pm

You do it on your own timing and do NOT worry about anyone else's. When you are ready you will change it. If you are not, then you will not. It's like asking how does a woman know how to breast feed their first baby, I don't know, they just do. To me, it will come natural or it is not time. Mine still says married to Steve and it's been nearly 2 years. 

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page