A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
So it been a year since i lost Chris and ive been seeing someone new for a few months. I was over at his house with his mom and mine when his mom turned to me and asked me how long i was gonna keep my facebook saying that i was in a relationship with Chris. I was kinda stunned by this question and answer forever. She seemed put off by this answer and my mom tried to explain.
A few days later i was staring at my facebook, just thinking about the possibility of it not saying i was with chris made me start balling, i got mad and hurt that someone who has tried to understand me dealing with my loss would have an issue with something so small to her and so big to me. And it doesnt even bother the guy im seeing.
I mean im probably over reacting but does anyone know any tips for dealing with those who just... dont quite get it?
If this removes you as a friend that is a recent change. When I changed mine in Janaury I did not see this.
Peter in a similar discussion reminded us if you have your spouses password you can always add yourself back in.
Is that what the latest message said? Not just the oh so tactless "This will cancel your relationship with "X" upon saving. Did it really say you will be removed as their friend?
You can also if you did not change it simply adjust your facebook relationship status to be private too. I did that for a few months till I was finally ready to change mine to widowed.
If they did make it that way now its new and its very stupid and very insensitive to a widow/widower. I tried to search and see if I could see anything about this but could not so no help there.. Let us know if you find anything else on this or hear of any updates on this b/c this seems definitely new ...
Note: found two older articles on this. Interesting never know of the "Memorial State" for a profile before
here is another:
Not sure i like the "Memorialized" state of the profile...
here is the link to that:
Wow Amanda, that is stupid. I wonder when they made that change, it has to be within the last few months. If you were removed as a friend with the status change were you able to add yourself back in? This seems like such a stupid change by them. Sorry about that..
I mean the whole concept of memorializing was so existing friends could still post. I think its asinine they would remove you as his friend when you changed to widowed. I think this needs to have some noise made about it. This is terrible..
I am sooo glad you posted this about Facebook. I've keep my status as "married" even though my husband died in July. I'm not "single" and I don't want to date. I considered changing my status to "widowed." Now, I'm glad that I didn't. I'll just stay married until Facebook makes some changes.
I changed my relationship status to "Select Relation." I don't feel comfortable with "widowed" because I live alone with my kids now, and I'm a little wierded out announcing that. I am developing a "it's nobody's business" attitude about things like that lately.
At the same time, a new friend and potential date actually checked my FB, and asked (politely and gently) because he honestly didn't know if I had been divorced, etc.
You do it on your own timing and do NOT worry about anyone else's. When you are ready you will change it. If you are not, then you will not. It's like asking how does a woman know how to breast feed their first baby, I don't know, they just do. To me, it will come natural or it is not time. Mine still says married to Steve and it's been nearly 2 years.