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Hi everyone

I lost my wife in early March to metastatic breast cancer which spread to her brain. Fortunately I was with her up until she died but we had to limit numbers to her funeral due to Covid19. I have two daughters who I haven't seen since the funeral due to our lockdown restrictions.

I am in the process of selling our home and moving somewhere new and trying to restart my life on my own.

The silence everday is horrible.

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Welcome to the forum. I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to suicide nearly 11 months ago. Grieving has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The Covid outbreak has also added to the loneliness. Try to take solace in knowing you aren't alone.

Hi Alma

Thanks for the welcome and I'm sorry to hear that you lost your husband too. I'm now on day 100 since the funeral and I guess I'm slowly beginning to accept my situation. Lockdown has been eased enough over here now so that I can get to see my daughters and grandchildren which is something.

I am glad you will be able to see your family. It helps.

Sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband about 2 months ago to a  brain aneurysm and understand the difficulties during Covid.  I also moved within a month of his passing to be closer to one  of  my daughters.  Please know you are not  alone and this is a great place to find help and support.

Hi Maralina,

Thanks for your kind words and I am sorry that you lost your husband an even shorter time ago than I lost my wife. I feel almost like it should be me offering you support but to be honest I wouldn't know where to start, all I can say from my experience is to make sure you take good care of yourself and try to eat even if you don't feel like eating, I lost 2 stone in the first 8 weeks or so.

I am sorry you are having to experience suffering. While I won't ever say "I know how you feel" I will convey I am familiar with the silence. I equate the death and caretaking of a spouse to driving 100 mph and suddenly to zero-life seems to stop. I sold our home as well-couldn't live in it any longer.

Please hang on and take it a day at a time, even an hour at a time.

Hi Soulmate

Thanks for your kind words of support, I can relate to the 100mph scenario. I have two daughters, my eldest moved to London with her husband a few years ago and my youngest was supposed to move to Chicago with her husband back in January but things didn't work out too well when my wife was told it was terminal so my youngest and her husband are still stuck in the UK until flight restrictions are lifted.
A day at a time or even an hour at a time is very good advice and I have started to learn that.

Take care 

Scotty, I lost my wife about 3 weeks ago, also cancer. COVID 19 put a damper on everything, for sure. This is a tough time in general but even tougher making it through day by day as a new widow/widower!! Hang in there!! One day at a time!! Where are you? Where are you moving? Julia

Hi Julia

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your wife such a short time ago and I'm sure your emotions are still very raw. Covid19 certainly added to our grief as not only did we lose a wife and mother but we were then forced to isolate ourselves in our grief. It is very much one day at time. I'm in South West England currently but once my youngest leaves then I have nobody to hold me to where I am. Where am I moving? I would love to be able to answer that question but to be honest I don't have a clue, I have a few places I want to see so could end up settling anywhere.

It's not easy but please try to be kind to yourself while you recover from your loss.

I’m so sorry to hear that I lost my husband last July. This is a hard road one that I never thought that would be on. Hang in there it gets better.

Hi Debb, sorry for my late reply but the internet hasn't been high on my list for a while. I'm sorry to hear you went through the same experience. It's 4 months down the line now and I'm told that the first year is the worst. I have already celebrated my wifes birthday, I bought her her favourite flowers and donated some cash to the local hospice to help support other folk at end of life. My next big milestone will be our wedding anniversary next month. I plan on visiting the church we were married in and leaving some flowers. I don't know what will happen at Christmas and there is a good chance that I will spend it alone.
Today is the last time that I will see my youngest daughter for some time as she flies to Croatia next week and then on to Chicago with her husband and daughters to start the next chapter in their lives. They should have moved to Chicago last January but my wifes prognosis just before Christmas meant that everything was postponed and then Covid hit. It will be hard the day they leave for all of us but ultimately they have to move forward with their lives. 
Today I get to see both my daughters and my grandchildren and that gives me a reason to smile.
Take care

Scotty,

First, I'm sorry you had to join us, but we're a good group and we tend to play well together. :-)

You're still measuring time in days and weeks (just as I did when I was early into this new segment of my life). We all grieve at our own pace, so if you find yourself "stumbling", "falling behind" or whatever, just know that all of this is normal. Please read and post, because sometimes, just getting what you're feeling down on the screen can be a big help. 

You are right--the silence is horrible--as well as deafening. The lockdown only amplifies that. Please do what you can to maintain telephone, email or text contact with your family and friends,in addition to stopping by here.

You shall get through this. I was where you are now nine years ago. I begin Year X as a widower on the evening of July 20th. I wish you strength and courage in the meantime.

John

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