Hi Deana - I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm new to WV too. I lost my husband 21 months ago but this is the first time I've felt strong enough to share. . .
My husband and I were together 20 years, but only married 10 of them. He was my world too and I also feel so very lost without him. People say time heals and maybe it does. So far though, what I've found is that it dulls the pain a little. And I have learned to smile and act 'normal'. But I don't feel normal at all. I just feel empty and strangely expectant. Even after all this time - I feel like I'm still waiting for him to come back. Isn't that crazy? In my mind, I know he's not. Yet I can't stop feeling like I'm in a holding pattern - forever waiting. I have his pictures everywhere and in my mind I constantly talk to him throughout the day hoping that he can hear me or feel me somehow. And maybe that's not the healthiest thing, but I don't know when I'll ever be ready to NOT have his pictures where I can see them all the time. It just seems impossible to let him go. And I don't want to let him go because, how do you let go of the love of your life?
Thanks Flower. It's comforting to know somebody else understands the depth of loss and doesn't judge.
I'm 2 1/2 years out and I have pics all around my office and at home -- and I have a little "shrine" at home with a nice photo and some favorite and memory-evoking objects.
When my Dad remarried after my Mom's death, he and my stepmother designated a bookshelf for pictures of their (very beloved) late spouses, so sweet.
Just do what feels right and best for you.If you've turned the entire house into a shrine/mausoleum, then maybe be a little worried. Otherwise, fuggeddaboutit.
Hi Widow85 - thanks so much for your reply about my hubby's pictures. It really does bring me comfort to be able to see him! I haven't gone crazy with the photos, only a few strategic places where I frequent. I know I'll never forget his face or his smile.
Hi Deana, I'm saddened that you had to find this site and all of us, but hopefully you'll feel at home here. I am also very new here, only a few days at this site and only 39 days since my wife of 35 years died. But I have found comfort with the folks here and an open arms welcome from everyone with whom I've interacted. I'd love to offer you some worldly wisdom but I have no idea what I'm doing, either.
Post often, about anything. There is no judgement here ...
Deana1950, I understand. I am at a year in 5 days and its still hard. Mornings are the hardest, then I kind of rally in the afternoon to get things done. I look to find outlets that are interesting and spend time with friends and family but it doesn't fix the hole in my heart. I think this process takes a lot longer than I expected. I hurt for you. I was with my husband 35 years and we had a deep and abiding loving relationship. May you find a little comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I find that a combination of rest and downtime and then being active for a while is a balancing act. I don't know your circumstances but I think I know a little bit about how you feel.