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My family consists of my 17 year old daughter & my 36 yr old alcoholic brother that I end up supporting half the time. My friends have ALL abandoned me for one reason or another. To top it all off I live in a small town in Montana where there is very little chance of meeting new friends. I'm stuck here for 1 more yr until my daughter graduates. Does anyone else feel totally isolated from the world & like you have nothing in common with the people around you? I've talked to my pastor & 2 psychologists & it seems like they can't even comprehend my restlessness & anxiety & the need I feel to just run away! Tell me I'm not the only one going through this???

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I think this journey that none of us wanted can be very isolating, even if you are in the middle of New York City! I live in a small town and while I know I have good neighbors we don't communicate very often. Probably only when I need them. Family members are a couple of hours away. I'm trying to build friendships but so far just weekend adventures and not every weekend.

So do I feel isolated? Yes i do at times. The silence is sometimes deafening.

Are you working? I have to say my job is my lifesaver. I work with people all day which helps. Have you tried meetups.com? It's amazing sometimes how close folks are to you.

You aren't alone and come here - this WV is also a lifesaver!

Hi Slater.  I am blessed to have a wonderful caring daughter and 2 sons who live 3 plus hours away.  Plus I have my brother and his family who also love me.  I have a couple friends, not a lot.  But I also live in a very small town in Saskatchewan.  I have to stay here for 4 more years.  My friends have not really abandoned me but I think they have their own lives and I am not a big part of that. 

Strange things happen,  I was talking to a man who I always talk to at a hockey game.  His wife gave me the most dirty look.  I realized then that women thought I was after her man.  My God, nothing could be further from the truth. 

I tried running last year.  I was not home for many weekends from November until March.  It did not help.  My husband was not home when I got back.  I too was filled with anxiety.  I do feel isolated also.  Somedays it is comforting now but too start with it was very scary.  As for pastors and psychologist they don't seem to have a handle on being widowed.  It took me a long time to get over being abandoned by my husband.Now I am feeling a little better.  Hang in there!

I have experienced a similar issue with friends.  The biggest problem is that my husband and I were together for 29 years (my age: 18-47) so really MOST of my friends were OUR friends and for the most part they have forsaken me.

I get it, they can't handle it.  Adam was a light in so many lives and he truly cared about people, so they don't know what to say or how to act.  Heck, even those who are still friendly with me get very uncomfortable when I talk openly about my grief, so I don't. 

Isolation?  Are you kidding me, on a good day I feel isolated.  These last 2 1/2 years have been nightmarish.

The meetup.com suggestion is wonderful.  I have tentatively gone to some of the events and the people are warm and welcoming.  I have not made any new, lasting friends yet, but being out of the house and coming home so tired I just fall sound asleep is good.

The gym is also good for that.

Hopefully this discussion group will help us both!

Peace.

Feel lucky that you have a kid at least. Things will not change until you move away from your small town. People avoid unpleasant situations, like widows. Its cruel but thats how people are. They don't want to think about it or how they might end up the same way. Go to the gym. Have a love affair. Help your kid finish high school. Move away and don't tell anyone you are a widow.

Yes, I get it.  I am all alone for the most part....widowed with no children and no family who talk to me.  Our former best friends dumped me after husband died.  I do have a couple friends, but I don't hear from them very much.  Mostly this is a very lonely journey.  I have not visited the site in a long time and thought I would come visit since I am feeling so alone.

Hang in there!

PWG

Hi, I am looking for new friends too. I have my 19 year old son who will be going to college soon although locally for two years. I am not someone who has many friends, not good with making them and I work for myself. One tells me to get involved with activities that is what I am trying to do. My brother and other relatives are in another state. Things can get very isolating. I have been involved with a French school studying and doing their accounting so maybe something will happen there. I don't have much in common with the people in the area- I have a masters degree and am a professional- many people around me are not as educated and thus have different interests. I have to stay here for at least four more years til my son graduates for college and I guess I will follow him to a busier area.

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