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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

A friend on another site used this phrase to describe a relationship that she finally ended.  I think it also applies to us widows and widowers as we venture forth into the world of new relationships.  How do you tell a good frog from a bad frog?  Are you going to try to hang out for Miss or Mr Right as the years are flying by or are you just seeking a reasonably comfortable relationship? Is there someone special out there for all of us?

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Hi Beth,  I find myself in a similar way at different periods of time.  Through out the years my whole family enjoyed going to Wickenburg, AZ.    I remember as a kid my oldest brother and I would go into town as well as in the open area around Wickenburg..

Later my dad would go with me where he loved to see the train in the park.  It since has been moved.  Then my wife and I started going there and she loved the area.  Her parents later moved  to the northwest of downtown.  He pasted and she is in a care center.

After my wife died then my  brother (one that recently died) would go with my daughter and myself. 

Now when I am in town I seem to remember what we were doing in certain locations.  My brother, daughter and I were up there  helping her in a photo class in high school.  The town has little pioneer statues that helps give one an 1800s feeling.  

When we drove by one , a short time back  I could see my brother  standing  with my daughter trying to help get the proper settings for his camera .

There was a store my daughter and I would always visit, because my wife loved to shop there.  It got boarded up.

I still admire the  little town, but it is full of ireminding memories that seem to always linger there.

David

David- so right about the lingering memories.  Sometimes I can drive by a place without even thinking about it and other times it's paralyzing! One of the reasons I feel like I should move, but those memories are in my head and travel with me now.  They don't relocate as easily.  

Beth, yes I moved almost three years ago. I live in a somewhat more desirable house for our needs, but the memories for me really did not diminish that much. The lingering memories for me has been one challenge to overcome. They were improving until the recent passing of my brother. After he passed it seemed to give me a relapse of the past.

David

Well it really is a strange world.  I have a male friend who i have been talking to for about 15 months on and off on Facebook, we went out a few times but nothing seemed to be coming of it.  Then he went on holidays and hardly contacted me.  Seems he has been desperate to contact me in the last few days to ask if I could....do his mother's funeral! I just knew all that theology would come in handy one day! Just as I was planning on backing off from that situation. What is happening here? I feel as if I am getting reeled back in all the time. But still think he is a really just a time waster.

Only1Sue, you could take a chance. He must like you to some degree to suddenly ask you to preach at his mom's funeral.

David

David, this is a very strange relationship, old friends, friend of the family, his late mother was my daughter's godmother.  He acts like a good friend, then suddenly I don't hear from him for a while.  Then he is back on chat on Facebook for a few days, then off again.  What am I to him? what does he feel about me? who knows?  Occasionally we go out to lunch and have a great time, we have so much history together from our young days and we laugh at the same jokes.  BUT he has been divorced three times and I think that is a barrier to us being more than friends.  So if I accept this then it is just a friendship and is best I leave it at that.

Sue, If there is one thing I have learned since being on this path I did not choose, is be upfront. Ask him. What do you have to lose? Of course ask him in a way that won't mess up a friendship if that is what you want. You could just ask for clarification.

He doesn't sound like a great catch, honestly, but does sound like he could be a good friend with all of your background.

At a dinner tonight the man who I had been on one date early last year kissed me and then the widow next to me who he had apparently dated a couple of times after me.  She was surprised, I wasn't.  I did want to scream but all's fair in love and war I suppose.And of course he had had a bit to drink so I guess that gave him the courage.  AARRGGH!

Three and a half years out now and I just want to reiterate my original question:  "Is there someone special out there for all of us?"

If it's some "one" I think I've have my fair share of special in life already.  But if some "two" came along, I wouldn't say no.

I don't know. I'm on my second round of online dating sites and this time I just mostly feel absolutely no interest. The guys all look a like now to me. I am pretty sure this is not the way to find  a special someone.

I think I am dealing with the question of Who do I want to be? And it may not have a special someone. And I am thinking that might be ok. There's a lot of living I can do.

Just rambling here. Hugs.

I agree, I am at 1 year 2 months and really don't want to traumatize myself with a bunch of bad dates.  I had something really special, and I wouldn't go again unless I thought I had met someone really special again.  And since I am not at the current dating... how likely is that?  Not at all likely, but against all odds I feel optimistic about the (not quite yet) future.

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