Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

not sure where to start

today is the three week marker since my husband passed. I am 31 and now raising 3 children on my own. We have two girls ages 8 and 13, and one son age 12. He was at work when he fell, they called an ambulance and he made one of the guys he worked with call me and tell me to get there now. well he never made it to the hospital before he was gone. He worked out of town so of course i never made it in time to see him alive and there was not enough time for the family to get there. There was already people at my house by the time i got back to my kids. Thank god no one told them that they lost their dad. Some how i was able to muster up enough umph to call his parents and let them know before they found out from someone that was not family. I find every day getting harder and harder. He was only 34 and so full of life, he was healthy to look at anyway. The massive heartattack was hereditary and now i am so worried about my children. I have to fight daily not to be so over protective that they cant live.

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Permalink Reply by AlanRRT on June 25, 2012 at 12:54pm

Deneice,

I am so sorry for your loss, especially at such a young age.  Welcome to this club that nobody wants to join, you will find much support here.  You are not the only young person in here, so there are many that can relate to your situation, and are willing to share whatever they can to help you along in this miserable journey.

Alan

Permalink Reply by Joyce on June 25, 2012 at 1:38pm

Hi again Deneice, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Just try to take one baby step at a time and keep coming here, everyone will hold your hand and try to help you through it.  Sending hugs.

Permalink Reply by janet on June 25, 2012 at 1:40pm

I am so sorry for your loss deneice.  I am glad you found this site but not the reason why.  We are all here for you.  Peace and keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Permalink Reply by Lisa ( Marielee) on June 25, 2012 at 2:46pm

Deneice,

oh so sorry.... You are so raw right now. This is so tough.I am sorry that you have to face parenting alone. My boys were adults when my husband died >( youngest was 18). All you can do right now is hold on to your children . I agree that somehow finding a way to give them that love without smothering them with fear. Suggestion would be later when you can and they do their wellness checkups you talk with Doctor before and have their hearts checked as part of checkup just to relieve your mind.  I am a cancer survivor and I remember feeling so scared when I was diagnozed that my boys would get cancer to. I asked lots of questions and explored that probability of that happening.  So hard to go through all of this . SO glad you found us here. Anytime come talk, share and vent and cry when you need to. Someone is always here . Blessings and hugs to you today - Lisa

Permalink Reply by Suz on June 25, 2012 at 4:14pm

Deneice,

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband had a long illness but I have lost several in my family to heart attacks and the shock is horrendous. I know there will be a lot of people on the board who have similar situations and will be more helpful than I am but I just read your note and felt moved to right.

Will be thinking of you. Such a hard, difficult situation.

Hugs,

Suz

Permalink Reply by Sharona on June 26, 2012 at 12:34am

Deneice, I am so so sorry.  I cannot even imagine how hard this is for you and your kids.  I lost my fiance suddenly a little over a year ago and am raising our 2 year old daughter and working full time with a long commute.  It is so hard with one child, never mind 3 who are all old enough to know what is going on and deal with their own grief also.  I guess the only thing you can do is focus on the things you absolutely must do, take each day at a time, and get a sitter once in a while so you can do something for yourself or have some alone time.  Hang in there....

Permalink Reply by Dianne in Nevada on June 26, 2012 at 10:57pm

I'm so sorry, Deneice.  I see you've joined the Suddenly Widowed group, but you may also want to join the Born in the 80s and Widowed in 2012 groups to connect with others.

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