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Here's a spot where you can post your special October remembrances - wedding anniversaries, birthdays, anniversaries of your loss, children's weddings, etc. - and discuss the plans you have to get through those potentially hard days. 

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6th b-day - forever forty-nine ...

60th birthday - forever 49 ...

I am looking forward to Halloween - first year I live in a fairly populated area, and, it is a holiday that does not have sad connotations for me, like Christmas and Thanksgiving. I want to be THAT house that gives out full size candy bars. And have a real jack o lantern. And maybe dress up funny.

Well vintage, tell me where you live ...because my 10 and 12 year old boys are mapping out all the houses that give out full size candy bars. No more small stuff for them! They love the houses that give out full size candy bars. One year my son said, 'Wow, they must have a lot of money!' Was very cute.

I remember the thrill of getting one when I was a kid. I always thought "Fun" size were mis-labeled. I am now in a town center in an otherwise rural area, the kind of place where people drive their kids and then park while the kids walk to the houses.

Just one idea for your sons - reversible costumes .... hit the good houses twice. ;-)

My mother started our family tradition of spending the first long weekend of October (which coincided with my birthday, Oct 1st)at the beach in a rented beach house, with family and extended family. Mom always made the weekend so special and would decorate the cottage beautifully in fall colors with pumpkins, mums and delicious apples and pumpkin pies! It was getting harder for my mother to arrange this as years went by. In early 2012, my husband Wayne and I arranged to rent the cottage ourselves and invited the extended family to visit.
I remember in April 2012, that Wayne was failing and I asked him if he really felt "up to" the October weekend with all the activities, stairs and late nights by the ocean. Wayne was adamant that I continue with the arrangements! He insisted, "I'll be there!"
Unfortunately, Wayne passed away the May before our Oct weekend! When I realized that our beach weekend was coming up, I was conflicted. I knew our daughters and extended family and I would enjoy the time by the beach, but it would be bittersweet without my Wayne. Well, we went and we had many many signs that Wayne was with us! Especially when we saw the thousands of migrating Monarch Butterflies. And one early morning we woke up to the sounds of bagpipes! They were playing "Amazing Grace". This was the one thing I forgot to arrange for Wayne's funeral...and here they were, at the beach! (we found out later that the bagpipes were there for another funeral... but I'm sure somebody up in Heaven knew we'd so appreciate hearing them!)
Now, every year I carry on the tradition of arranging the beach house and we have our family get together. This year was very special. It was the 5 year anniversary, and like 2012 there were again, thousands of migrating Monarch Butterflies! I'm so glad Wayne insisted that we carry on the tradition and that he said, "I'll be there!" Because I know he really is there and with us every day.

That's beautiful, Diane.What a sweet remembrance.

October 18th was our wedding anniversary, and October 30th is the day Shane died last year, 2016. He entered the hospital on the 16th after becoming extremely jaundiced on the 15th, so really, a year ago today was our last normal day together, and I didn't know it. I have nothing recorded about that day. Expecting to have a lot of triggers over the next two to three weeks.

October is a triple whammy for me. I lost my beloved husband on October 12, his birthday is October 14th and our favorite holiday was Halloween. It has been 3 years but still feels like yesterday. I miss him so.

Tomorrow would be my husband's 60th birthday, he died in May this year. So first birthday... he never wanted big parties, didn't have many close friends but we always celebrated at home with a cake (a brownie, his favorite) and on Saturday we would go for a nice dinner to a local restaurant. I do not think I can go to the same place without him but me and my daughter will go to a nice dinner somewhere.

I do not know what to do about tomorrow, I cannot think of anything I could do to celebrate him without him. I'm very depressed and crying every day since last weekend, thinking about his birthday approaching and all those future milestones I would have to celebrate without him. I do not like my life at the moment. I miss him so much...

Hi Malgosia.

My DH died this May and it would have been his 70th birthday on October 19th.  I was dreading the day, but I made myself really busy.  I gave a talk at the mental health charity where I volunteer and then canvassed surveys in a nearby part of London for a political party where I'm a candidate.  Then I looked after my 3 year old grandson.

I was so busy, I didn't have time to feel too nostalgic.  I find the worst days for me are Sundays , because we always spent the day together walking the dog.  I now know I have to find something to do to stop myself getting maudlin and feeling sorry for myself.

I'm sure your DH will be with you in spirit on his birthday and won't want you to be sad.  Just think of the good times together fondly and raise a glass to the good life you had together.  Tell him how you're moving forward for his  (and your) sake.

Thank you Lindi. I survived but last week was very difficult and awful. So many emotions, words from somebody who maybe had good intentions but caused me a lot of pain, lots of tears but also trying to make a new memories. I took my daughter to lunch at the place we never went with my husband-to have a new memory, to be able to refer to something just the two of us did.

Keeping busy helps but I am sometimes to tired of keeping busy... I still just want my previous life back. I struggle with the idea of him watching over us-I do not feel his presence at all, I just do not feel this way. I wish I had. Good memories do not bring me comfort (yet?). We've been married only 16 years, I grieve all those years that were to be as well as those  that were. Maybe one day I will, I do hope so.

Thank you for your kind words, it meant a lot to me that you wrote here.


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