It has officially been one year and one week since my husband's death. I worked that day. At the exact time of his death I said a quiet prayer and thanked him for my happy life. Today is the anniversary of his funeral. It seems I am the only one who recognizes this and remembers. His family, friends and children haven't commented on social media or reached out to me. I realize it means much more to me since I shared my life with him everyday and was there with him until the end. I understand they may not know the exact dates, but I really haven't heard a peep out of any of them since he passed. I have to make the effort if indeed there is any contact. Is this unusual? Do people just move on and forget? I know it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it affects me despite my best efforts. I still think of him everyday, miss and talk to him. I know people go on and live their lives, but mine has been altered forever. The loss is still so profound for me. I wonder if others have had this same sort of experience. Thanks for any and all insight on this. I am just hurt a bit by their lack of acknowledgement. I can't accept that they have all forgot the significance of this time and thus him .Thank you all again for your kind support and understanding. I know you all feel what I feel.
It hasn't been but about 6 mo. For me but I know what you mean. My wife and other ladies made prayer blankets and we always had people at the house, our house was sort of the hub, I even did the embroidery and transfers but after my wife died I had to give up all but making the transfers I just didn't think I could do as much but I did want to stay connected because of my wife. I miss having people come by even though it was mostly for my wife. I think people don't contact us because they probably think it upsets us. I wouldn't say its upsetting its just sometimes the memories are just overwhelming, in a good way. Sometimes tears sometimes smiles.
Ciao it's a year also for me...and to remember him i send his photo to friends and my brother...we have them in our mind Every minute and talk to them and dream of them..missing them...regret their fate...the others go on with their life...it's our nightmare and pain! I'd like to live it more easily...for the moment i still grieving less than a year ago but i'd try to learn how to live with my sorrow in a better way for me...i hope you can find your way ciao roxi
I think people are aware of it but don't say anything because they think it may upset you. I received a few cards at the first anniversary and greatly appreciated it and told them so. However I sent cards (one year mark) to two people that lost their spouses and it was never acknowledged. Now I wonder if it may have upset them. I think a call would have been better.....maybe.
Thanks, all, for your input. Maybe they don't want to upset me. I guess they don't realize they can't upset any more than I am. You can't get sadder than this. It just think it would be nice if people acknowledged him and what he meant. Maybe I am being too sensitive. I live with the loss daily and feel it. They have their own lives. My life is now focused on rebuilding and figuring out what life means without him. It is a daily struggle even after a year. Thank you all!!
Rather than do a funeral, we did a "Celebration of Life" for SJ, about 2 months after she passed. About 80 people showed up, including her childhood friends from CT, freinds from when she lived in San Fran, other friends from all around over the years, my family from MN, and our collection of friends and co-workers here in town. People got up and spoke about the wonderful times they had with her over the years. It was very positive and uplifting. I was still in a fog, so other that secure the room, her sister and a couple friends handled the food, drinks, videos, etc. and SJ's brother played with the members of his band. It was awesome. I barely made it through my short little speech. I'm a typical guy, and that was good enough for me. Just a great day all around. I still miss her desperately though.
All of is grieve in our different ways. The locals give me room to help get along, and for me it is much appreciated.
I woke up on the 4 year anniversary of Frank's death to his son sending me a funny link to a FB thing. No one remembered. I posted a song on FB, no one commented. ("All I can remember" by the Seekers).
His daughter posts gushy stuff on the anniv. of her mom's death, nothing for her dad. Note they are his kids, not mine.
Thanks so much for the replies. I feel that many have just moved on. I can'f fault them. They're his daughters and family. They seem to have let it all go. It is sad to me.
I guess it's not only that no one reached out to me but that I am so lonely. It would be nice if someone checked to see how I was doing and just to connect. It is not easy accepting the loss and has been a hard road. Sometimes I wonder why I have to be alone. This just adds another element of sadness for me. Sigh.
Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I am going on 9 years since my husband's death and I am hesitant to "report" that it has been like this for me since the first year. I do think that people just move on with their lives and/or just don't know what to say, so they say nothing. I have had a few friends who have lost their spouses and I put the date on my calendar to make it a point to call them or send a card letting them know I am thinking about them when their "anniversary" comes up. It has never been reciprocated. I was angry and hurt for a long time, but have since let go of that. That's all you can do.
My husband passed away on the 27th of October last year. While I think of him everyday, I especially note the 27th of each month. Being a Catholic, I have Masses said for the repose of his soul every month on the 27th. I will continue to obtain these from now on.
My wife passed away on the 9th of November last year and I too think of her everyday and night. I too am Catholic but probably not a good one but I have masses said on the day of here passing, her birthday and our anniversary, this coming June that would have been our 50th. I have a feeling that day is not going to be too good for me. If it wouldn't be for taking my adult daughter to therapy twice a week and picking up groceries I probably wouldn't leave the house. I did join a 50+ club and play pool with an old golf buddy of mine maybe once a week or every other week. I just don't have the desire to get out and do things.
We are Catholic too and that makes a big difference. I am grateful I have my faith to comfort me.