Alma. You already know everyone has a different timetable for dealing with the grief that comes when you lose a spouse. So no one can give you a true answer. They can only tell you their experience which may well be nothing like yours. I can tell you it never "softened" or got better for me and I passed 8 yrs this past March. I can tell you/ even promise you that it will change! Whatever you are feeling or thinking today will change with time! What that change will be like for you...only you will know. Lots of time passes and with passing time comes change. Focus on day to day living, stay busy, help others, and eat and sleep well and consistently. Keep gratitude up front in your thinking. Life hurries by, eternity is forever. Give your attention to living. Take counsel from your own heart and your own beliefs. Allow your feelings to be present but also allow them to pass through you and do not dwell in the past-remember with love and go forward each day looking for blessings in life-to savor and to give to others. There can be joy again but with change comes differences. It will be Ok. You will find YOUR way. lj
Thank you so much for responding. It was kind and inspiring. I do have so much to still be grateful for.
My husband died on fathersday last year and all i can say is i feel it too. Maybe even more now than in the early days because at least at that time i was numb and or had the surroundind support of family and friends. Who would come stay with me for days even weeks at a time. And lots of hugs and it made me feel loved so the hurt was there but the support and love cushioned the loss. But now thats its coming up to the year mark those people are off living their lives once again like before all back to their everydays lives. But here the kids and i are living the constant reminder of this life without this life of lost love and now coming up a double reminder now with the day he died being a seperate day from fathersday. It feels worst today than it did in the beginning and before the pandemic i felt almost some days normal and not constantly reminded of our loss but then the pandemic just resparked the ever looming horror of his absence plus now the financial burden has become almost unbearable i dont know what will happen but i.ll prob need a miracle for the kids and i to not have to sell our stuff and move. I hope things get better for u but as for myself i havent seen much light at the end of the tunnel.but i will never give up on trying my hardest cause thats what my husband always did for us while he was alive. His life and how he lived still are my motivation for hope. Think about what your loved one might do if the situation was turned around or what they might say to u if as a thought u know.
I am sorry you have two hard days this year