A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
It sounds to me like you might want to keep your ad up (and keep tweaking it as you learn what the competition is, what your own strengths are, and so on) and also maybe start a new activity or two.
I love your confidence and I think men can really respond to that -- the right men, anyway.
I actually did look at Meetup.com in May and found a local widows group starting, but it did not follow through. The leader said there were not enough men interested. I see a little activity there today, so maybe something will happen.
I hear a lot of people saying they're giving up... and while I hate to hear that if it's permanent, sometimes taking a break is a good idea. For those who are taking DOWN their ads... since the "dating project" is bringing you down-- I wonder if you might concentrate for a little while on some things that really bring you joy -- new hobbies, taking really extra good care of yourself, or resolving to meet some new people in a setting that doesn't carry such high expectations (like through a book club or visiting a new church, or taking a class like pottery or yoga or whatever catches your eye).
Online dating -- intentionally, all that sifting, all those frogs! -- is such a numbers game. SO SLOW.
I always felt that having my ad "up" was my way of showing my intentions to the universe -- and that it made a difference, even in my finding my new husband, who was an old friend and not even on Match.com.
I also found that some of the discouraging dates -- by just getting me out of the house, dressed up, and so on -- helped me feel worthy, even when I was with a stupid man (it happened!).
I guess what I'm trying to say is... I wonder if taking a break may be a valuable part of FINDING, rather than being part of "giving up."
Thanks for answering. What websites have you used? Part of my wariness is not knowing which sites to look at. I would want to join a free website. I have seen too many warnings about subscription sites. I decided years ago before becoming a widow that I would never be interested in dating again. Frankly, it scares me, but if God sends the right man who could manage to sweep me off my feet again, I would follow fate.
I would never try to replace my husband. It can't be done.
I signed up at SeniorPassions today (misleading title!) so we'll see.
I just need to get out of the house and socialize, but am very shy and have not found any groups around here.
I called the local Senior Center last month, but it seems very disorganized. I would join a painting group or would take up tai chi if they had anything I like.
Thanks for sharing,
To those who have tried internet dating, do you have any tips for those who would like to try this form of dating? What sites did you find most successful? Did you have any problems cancelling your subscription? I have been trying to get information about how to protect myself if I decide to try one of these sites but am having trouble sorting out what is true and what the degree of risk is. IF anyone can help I would appreciate any information!
As of yesterday I am 2 months out since my wife passed away. And I am repeating this phrase to myself. 'Out of the frying pan and into the fire' several times. If I feel lonely I am in the frying pan. If I rush into a relationship because I can't stand being alone and I don't really know that person, I could be landing into the fire. So for now, I am concentrating on some un-accomplished goals that I have and pursue them. If I meet someone, it will be someone who shares the same goals that I have.
I thought Plenty of Fish was a waste of time. Mostly nice people, but a few scary ones mixed in. The selection process was not very good. You just look at people's pictures and glance at their essays.
I like OkCupid. I am now engaged to the first person they suggested. I like their selection process although some of their questions are a little weird. They gave me and my date a high compatibility rating and it has carried over into real life very well. I don't think my experience is typical, but never-the-less both of us liked the experience.