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Anyone had other family members trying to make it all about them? My husband died just over 3 weeks ago and I have just had an email from my mum about how hard she is finding it and how difficult it is because I have not sent her many emails! Quite frankly right now I am just trying to hold together myself and my kids (12 and 10) and anyone else is going to have to find their own path. Anyone relate?

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Family can be so unhelpful. Some of mine has been wonderful and others just horrible. Four days after my husband died, much sooner that we had expected from complications of his cancer, his sister called to tell me that it was my fault. He had been in the hospital for 19 days and of course, it was not my fault that he got cancer. He had the best care possible at a national renown hospital.

Why would anyone do something like that? What was the purpose? As you can imagine, I don't answer her calls, texts or emails. Now she is telling everyone that I won't talk to her and keep her informed. Whatever.

Yes people literally call me with their problems.  It starts with "how are you?" and then they unload all their trivial BS on me.

My sister is miserable because her Mother in law is living with her now and she has only called me once ONCE to see how I was doing.  During that convo she unleashed how miserable she is in her situation. Basically she talked about herself for 30 minutes.

I was dumbfounded..NO words.  People are so self absorbed.  I have seen so many true colors since my husband died 3 months ago, it's eye opening and sad.

YES!  This has happened to me too!  A month after my husband died unexpectedly, my sister in law wanted to come to my house with me taking care of my elderly mother & father at the time - he has since died (not to invite US to their place!)  After telling her that we weren't doing anything probably eating stuffed chicken breasts in front of the TV, she started carrying on saying how selfish I was.  Her family was having dinner at home, wanted to come to my place for dessert and then go to a movie (again no invitation for us to go with them)  I guess it messed up HER plans!  No mention of my husband!  I now have no contact with her.

Also, my other sister in law, a few months after he died, told me I had to MOVE ON and abruptly changed the subject to the issues she was having with her kids.  She continued to call me - not to comfort me - but to talk about HER problems.  Everytime I cried or talked about my husband, she again abruptly changed the subject to her again!  She even had the nerve to call me crying hysterically about her cat dying!  And wouldn't stop talking about it.  Now, I avoid her calls - maybe call her back her back every once in a while...

I will never forget this in my life....but I do believe karma is a bit**ch.

When my husband died, I found out what Caller ID is really for!  I got calls from one of my sisters who was drunk going on and on about how hard it is to get old alone.  She walked away from every decent guy that wanted to be with her, she has no kids - I have two adult autistic sons to care for - and all she could do was call me with her self-pity-party.  About the same time, I was getting collection calls for one of my brothers-in-law who I hadn't seen in 15 years (they didn't bother with the funeral or anything), and our nerves were so shot I called them to get them to do something to make the calls stop as it really upset me and my kids.  I was told to 'just use your cell phone and ignore them' - no consideration for my situation whatsoever.

Like I say, I now know why Caller ID was invented.  Some calls are NOT worth answering.

Hugs...

ExPatkat,

So sorry you had to go through that!  Don't you want to just hang up on them?!  The people who you really feel that would be the most support aren't!

I don't answer either!!!

BTW, is that a picture of your cat?????

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