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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I haven't visited here in some time. When I found this online, I cannot remember where. It seemed so comforting to me. reading it over and over again is helping me understand what is slowly happening to me. It's bringing more meaning to what my grief counselor told me in just Sept 2017: "You won't get over this. You won't go through it. But somehow, ever so slowly, you will learn to live with it and it   will soften over time."

"Grief can destroy you - or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR, you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But, when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything. It was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared, sometimes so imperfectly. And, when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by the gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of their life." character Odd Thomas, Dean Koontz

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Thank you for sharing that, I agree that the best way to honor our loved ones is to keep trying to live our lives with a purpose. It’s really hard and some days just getting up and showing up is a victory.

I needed to re-read that today!  Thank you Inside!

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