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I lost my husband of 27 years last June.  It is crazy to me that I'm involved in this group and posting my first post.  So unbelievable still.  I've been doing  as ok as I can be.  The last couple of days have been challenging.  I have a couple of small fun trips coming up.  I have had friends bail on going.  I'm not upset with anyone.  I just hate that I don't have my partner to do these things with me.  Earlier I responded to a family gathering.  It asked how many would be attending and I checked one.  Just struggling the last couple of days with these things.  I've been doing a lot of things I wouldn't normally do, know he would want me to do, and things we would have done.  I see life in a different way and I am living.  It's just a momentary pity party as the realization hits me that I am a party of one and I miss my partner terribly.  Thanks for listening. 

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Yes, it's weird being a Party of One!  What always hits me between the eyes is when I fill in surveys (I do a lot on e-Rewards to get Hilton points) and I have to check "Widowed" as my relationship status.  It makes me feel like Queen Victoria, dressed perpetually in black with her hair covered.

It's good that you're traveling- I just got back from Central America on a trip I'd booked the week before DH died, on a cruise line we'd taken in Alaska.  He was happy for me when I told him!  I had some trepidation about how it would be alone, but it was a small ship and, while it was mostly couples, they frequently got up at different times or went on different excursions, so they weren't always stuck together.  I had a great time but I missed being able to talk with DH at the end of the day about what we'd done and seen.

I also find that I'm socializing more- my church has a dinner group that meets monthly, a "God and Guinness" group that gets together at a pub once a month, and other activities sponsored by an employee association where I used to work.  It gets me around humans and I need that even though they don't take the place of DH.

Welcome to the group!   I've found it very helpful in working through my feelings and I hope you will, too.

Hi debbiejerry1,

   My husband passed on 12.7.2016 .... And your heading " Party Of One ' is not my cup of tea ... It's sad to me. Because I THINK I know how you feel. I have no to some family outings because I don't want to be alone.. 

   Every where I look, here are couples around me. Sometimes I feel like there is a spot light on me with a sign that says " Widow ". ... I think Widow is a NASTY word.

   I guess my rant is over :-) 

Susan

I. Hate. Being. Alone.  My husband and I were married for 33 years.  We started dating when I was 17 and he was 21.  It has been very difficult to figure out a life without him in it.  I am very fortunate to have a pile of little grandsons.  They definitely keep me anchored, and focused, but I hate going places and being the odd man out.  My worst thing is that I know people who are not happily married, and I wonder why their mean husbands are still alive, and my nice husband passed away.  Life.  It just isn't fair, is it?

Wedac3,

   I"m so sorry... But I do know a little of how you feel. Paul and I met when I was 14 and he was 17... In high school. After he graduated in 72, he went on to Vietnam. Then I graduated in 75 when he got out of the Navy. We got engaged, then married in 78. We were married for 38 years when he passed away from Glioblastoma ( Brain Cancer ) ...

   I now have a baby Grandson on the way. I can't wait until he's born!!!  :-) 

   Unfortunately, I also know what you mean by " Odd Man Out " ... I hate that feeling. It sounds like we both had married wonderful men. I guess you could say that Paul spoiled all other men for me. My standard for men is very high.   Paul was my first everything. First Date, First Prom, Etc. Etc. 

Love & Prayers,

Susan

yes, i was blessed with a wonderful husband.  i hate it when people say: you should be glad you had all those good years together. so many people never have that.   well, i think that makes it worse, because i we were happy together, and i was not ready to let him go.

I am so tired of being alone.  Tired of handling all the challenges alone, the garage door broke last week, the lawn mower broke on the weekend.   Last week took a road trip me & my two dogs.  Thank God for them.  I gave up on people saying they will do things & backing out.  Or turning a small outing into a big thing.  I miss saying "Hey do you want to go McDonalds?" & we go.  

My niece was married last fall & the invitation reply  was already completed.  Said  "We had reserved 1 seat for you".  Wow, I thought might as well add, glad Doug died, saved us some money.

Any form I complete I leave the married/single divorced etc blank.  If you really think about it they do not need to know.  I've only had one place mention I missed it.  I asked "why do you need it, what difference does it make?"  Then she agreed.  

A phone solicitor called last week.  He said "Are you happily married, single or divorced?"  I said I was happily married then he died.  That shut him up.

One of the toughest things about this is realizing, this is it.  I am alone.  I may be alone for the rest of my life. That is a very depressing thought.

I'm also so tired of being alone. I hate that I don't have Mark as my default person to do things with anymore. I loved that he was usually open for whatever. Now if I want to do anything with someone it involves planning ahead. I don't have anyone just hanging at home with me where I can just say whatcha wanna do today? and we come up with something fun. My husband and I were married for 5 short but wonderful years (but together for 11.) He was diagnosed with cancer when our only child was 9 months old and passed 10 months later. I absolutely hate raising my son alone. I have some help from family, but it's just not the same. Took him to Wal-Mart today to get a few things and ended up having to leave without getting everything we needed because he was throwing such a bad tantrum and I was just mortified. If Mark was around, I could have went home with our son and asked him to stop at the store. I feel like the world is throwing salt on my wounds, like this is all a cruel joke and Mark will come walking back into the house any minute. I'm starting to potty train and for the time being am training him to pee sitting down. When the time comes to teach him to stand to pee, it's going to be really weird to not have anyone to show him. 

AshleyNicole,

  

    I miss that also. Just saying " Come on, lets do this or that "...  My sisters like to do things with me once in awhile, but I know they have they own lives.  Since Paul was my whole life, it's hard to do anything alone... I guess I need to find a new life. But how on Earth do I do that. We were married for 38 when he passed away. ( I was 59 ) 

    I think I know what you mean about potty training. I would train our son during the day, Paul took over at night. We worked as a team at it. Do you have good male friend or relative ?  Maybe they could help. Just a thought.

Regards,

Susan

Imogen,

   Your right! They don't need to know that information... I'm going to start leaving that blank also. :-)

Susan

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