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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Here's a spot where Campers can post photos and share what they've learned in the workshops, so those who aren't here with us can share the experience.

Here's a link to the survey that Michele asked everyone to take the time to complete:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CRX2W9R

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dianne we so are going to have to say at least a night longer next year! 

All that we learned, felt, experienced it truly was a gift!

I'm very new here. What is the Plan A and the Plan B speech? If I'm missing a post, please point me in the right direction. I lost my husband three years ago and I could certainly use a new approach.

Hatshepsut

It was from this past weekend at Camp Widow. I believe some ladies may have recorded it. Not sure.

Welcome Hatshepsut.  Yes, the speech being referenced is Michele Neff Hernandez's keynote address at Camp Widow East in Myrtle Beach last weekend. She's an amazing speaker ... every one of her keynotes that I've heard has been inspirational. 

I missed most of this speech, but I believe the reference to Plan A and Plan B was basically this:  Our Plan A was what we saw for our future life before we experienced our loss. We grieve the loss of what our future was supposed to hold right along with grieving the physical loss of our loved one.  Plan B is what we need to come up with now that we can't have our Plan A.  We can still have a full and beautiful life ... it just can't be the life we originally envisioned with our loved one.  Fully realizing that is hard, but so very important. It will allow you to think of things that you used to want to do but didn't have the time to do when busy with your spouse and job and kids, etc. Recall those little things and do them. Write them down. Check them off a list. Perhaps some will no longer appeal to you. But you may find something that you feel passionate about, something that will fill those extra hours in your days, something that gives you purpose, something that provides that first step toward your Plan B.

Camp Widow West is just 9 weeks away, Hatshepsut.  I see you live in California, so perhaps you'd like to join us there.  That will be Michele's final Keynote address.  No - she's not leaving Soaring Spirits ... she just feels it's time to change up the keynotes at future camps. Here's a link to where you'll find more information about camp:  http://www.campwidow.org/

Actually, Michele said that you don't need a plan B, you can have another Plan A that will be different than your original Plan A, but every bit as wonderful.  There is no reason to settle for Plan B.  You need to go out and make a new Plan A that is the best and greatest life (in whatever sense) you can have - not less, just different.  You do not need to settle.

Thanks much, Liz!  I should have had the patience to wait for someone who actually heard Michele's speech to explain what it was for Hatshepsut - duh!

I agree that Michele's keynote, Plan A not Plan B speech was inspirational and was one of my favourite parts of the weekend.  I also loved meeting everyone in person.  The walk on the beach was wonderful and I agree that Kellie Lynn's presentation was hilarious.

I think the CWE banquet dance floor crasher from the wedding reception deserves a special shout out - apparently we widows know how to party!

That man was HILARIOUS! I couldn't stop laughing!

I agree!  The party crasher certainly was ... ummm ... entertaining ... a rather unique dance style.  I figured he heard our music and then heard it was a room full of widows and he just HAD to join us.

I wish there was a like button on comments like on FB. His dance style definitely was unique! :-)

Camp Widow was amazing. Intense, and at times hard, but overall, amazing. There were so many wonderful things, like meeting people from this forum, and new folks, attending workshops, the beautiful setting, being able to laugh, and dance...and cry...but one of the biggest things was the TLC that I got from all of the organizers and the attendees there. It made me realize how much I needed it, how good it felt to be cared for. Because it was so special to go, a true gift, I wish for others in WV who perhaps couldn't afford it, or feel left out, to also have the opportunity, so l plan to "pay forward" for someone else to be able to attend. Michelle also stated that they offer assistance...so this is just my plug for an amazing experience that I'd love others to have as well. Of course my loss is still here, coming home to the empty house has been heart-breaking. But there's also a small flame of inspiration in me now. To crawl out of this hole, bloody knuckles and all, to do the best I can, using what little strength I have left, to keep trying to live the best life I can. Others are doing it. So can I. It's a choice I still have. I need to do it to honor his life, and I need to do it to honor mine.
Sorry, trying to connect real names with online names, but if this Katyia ( sorry probably spelling it wrong) it was a pleasure to meet you. We crossed paths several times. You commented on my colorful tops. We sat next to each other in the energy workshop. I think you have a lot of internal strength. Draw on it. If you need someone to talk to, message me.

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