Premonitions (Do you think people can "know" when they will pass?)

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Permalink Reply by the rose on May 12, 2011 at 5:38am

Very interesting indeed!

 

When he was courting me, he had said 'If I had to die and live again, so I could be with you, I would'  I thought it was such a strange statement and with your explanation I can now understand.

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Permalink Reply by Momtofour on May 11, 2011 at 9:13pm

I don't even know how to answer this anymore, nor do I really want to because today has been fairly raw for me emotion wise.  I just don't feel like dealing with it.  But, that being said, Barry knew he would die young.  A lot of the men in his family have died young and he knew it would happen.  I always used to "shush" him and say if he took care of himself that he would live a long life with me.  But that didn't happen.  I think subconsciously I knew too...looking back at past years, when he would talk about his death and whatnot, I hated talking about it, but I had this feeling in my gut that I knew he was right.  I knew we wouldn't have a long life together, but it always made me sad and I just dismissed that thought.  I guess my feelings were right.  

 

A funny conversation barry and I had when he got sick...I told him I was worried about him, and he said "dont worry, if I feel like I'm going to die, I will go to the hospital".  He was an over the road trucker and told me he'd go somewhere close to where he was.  He had to come home a few days before his scheduled home time because he was so sick and as soon as he pulled into the driveway, i took him straight to the hospital.  

 

he never came home again.

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Permalink Reply by Wendy on May 11, 2011 at 9:17pm

Thinking of you Krusty.  Today was a hard, raw day for me too.  A lot of crying.  I can't remember the last day like this.  Tomorrow is a new day; hope it is better for us both.

 

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Permalink Reply by Momtofour on May 11, 2011 at 9:26pm

Thanks wendy!! I cried last night after midnight, so while I was in bed last night.  plus I have a cold, so being congested and crying so hard your nose is stopped up, really sucks.  I couldn't breathe.  ugh.  I'm feeling a bit better today, I think tomorrow will be even better.  Stuff like that just knocks me down the following day and it takes me a bit of time to recover.

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Permalink Reply by Wendy on May 11, 2011 at 10:39pm

The "good" (?) news for me is I was online here, crying, and my boyfriend called me.  I haven't really had a time when I was sort of randomly crying with him around yet, so I decided to answer and be honest about why I was crying.  I told him I miss Brian and the life we had, that I was thinking about life and death, and it was overwhelming and I was just having a sad day, that I had cried a lot today.  I will be honest -- I was worried about how he'd react, and I even said I was sorry, that I felt weird crying to my bf about missing my husband.  I don't know why I worried.  He was so kind and supportive about it, and I was smiling when we hung up. 

 

(Not that a guy is the answer to grief -- I know you know it's not b/c you are with someone else -- but just wanted to say I don't think it is either.  I just meant it was a great thing for me to experience his reaction and have it be good -- it reassured me that I'm with a great person.)

 

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Permalink Reply by SallyStarre on May 11, 2011 at 9:53pm

I'm so sorry Krusty

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Permalink Reply by Laker on May 11, 2011 at 10:22pm

I just read your post, Krusty and was very touched by it.  So sorry for your loss and pain.  And for Barry - from your various posts, he sounds like a great guy who deserved so much more. 

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Permalink Reply by Momtofour on May 11, 2011 at 11:46pm

You know what really bothers me, is that he was working so HARD to get us more.  He was an over the road trucker, and was going to school full time at DeVry at the same time, and was so smart...he was on the Dean's list every semester.  He was going to school to become an accountant so that he could FINALLY get a job at home and we could all be under one roof.  He was supposed to graduate this upcoming august...it tore me apart that he never got to see his dreams come to fruition.  Made me so mad...why did he have to miss out on that, he was 29 and barely got to spend any time with his children and then when we finally were able to take steps towards that, he died. :( I know it was his time to go, but it was too soon.  He didnt get to live enough of a life.

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Permalink Reply by ktlamer0707 on May 12, 2011 at 9:04pm

i wonder about this ... there were different things... gary always said he would die young he was 2 months from turning 33... then i was online one day looking at mayhem tickets ( a big concert of awesome bands lol) and he said he didn't want to go... a group of friends went to a concert this week that we were to go to and gary changed his mind... different things like that... the saddest is in the hosp. he apparently said to his parents when i was in the hall on the phone that he was going to die... that evening they put him on a vent and a week and a half later he was gone.. it's just strange that he didn't want me to buy tickets to things because we always did stuff like that and he didn't want to go...

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Permalink Reply by cleodoggie on May 13, 2011 at 12:13pm

My Jim knew he wasn't gonna be here for long.  He told the neighbor that he didn't think he would be around much longer.  He told my dad he wouldn't be here the next year.  He never told me but I think he wanted us to live as happily as we could for as long as we could.  All through his illness I was there with him cheering him on but in the end he lost his battle.  I still wonder how much he held inside because he didn't want to hurt me.I have a feeling that he hung on longer than he had to just for me.  Now that was a gift.  He was a wonderful man and I am proud to say he was my husband.  Of course I wish he did not have to die so soon. He was 60 years old when he passed.

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Permalink Reply by sue on May 13, 2011 at 3:17pm

We have two daschund dogs and one was very much my husband's dog and the other very much mine.  About three weeks before Tim was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer with mets to the liver and lungs, the dog that is so much mine started just practically hanging on him.  Wherever he went, the dog went, constantly.  When we went to bed, that dog practically slept on his pillow with him.  It was so unusual.  One day he said, "if I didn't know better, the way the dog is acting, I'd think there was something wrong with me."  Guess there was.  He would die exactly 5 months to the day from diagnosis and that dog never left his side. 

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Permalink Reply by Suz on May 31, 2012 at 11:12pm

Sue,

My husband also died of pancreatic cancer. In the last week, our two dogs curled themselves around his belly and wouldn't move. They did that for several days. After he died, they "fought each other" for the place on his pillow. I think dogs are so tuned in to what is going on in ways we don't even imagine.

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