Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

It’s been 4 years since my husband passed.  I decided to move to Kansas City with family the first of April in the midst of all the COVID quarantine.

It’s hard enough to quarantine when you already have friends and community. I’m really struggling trying to find my way in this new area.  
I’m 70 and live on Overland Park. 

Views: 31

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hi Lyn

You know, I read your post shortly after you put it up, but I was not sure what you wanted by way of a response.  Perhaps you hoped that someone living in Kansas City too, would contact you and you could get together.  

I did not want you to think us heartless or unconcerned.  

Welcome to WV.  I think you will come to enjoy it, and learn from it, and share with it as I have over the years.

My wife of 35 years died quite suddenly, and completely unexpectedly one Sunday night. She went to sleep and did not wake up Monday morning.  She was in an assisted living facility regaining her strength after an illness.  She and I were expecting her to come home to stay the week she passed.  In a sense, I like you, did not get the chance to say that I loved her or to say goodbye.  I had visited her on Saturday, and she gave me a list of things to bring with my on Monday, and some dirty laundry for me to clean.  During my visit, she said "I want a hug"  She was sitting on the edge of the bed and I said "if we are going to hug, lets to it right."  She stood up and put her arms around me, and I around her, we kissed and she rested her head on my shoulder.  After a few minutes she said she had to sit down and  I helped her sit back on the edge of the bed.  A couple of hours later we said our goodbyes and I waived to her and blew her another kiss as I walked out of her room saying "See Ya Monday morning!"  She said "Don't forget (something) and I said OK.  A typical goodbye with an expectance of seeing each other on Monday.  Instead they found her at 0630 not breathing, and nothing worked.

Had I known that would be our last exchange... I don't know what I'd have done differently. We were a couple in love, as fervent a love as if we were just married.  I just did not know that was the last time I'd see her alive.  I told her I loved her, I kissed her before leaving, and teased her about her football team playing on that Sunday.  I don't know what I want, I just know I wanted to say I love you one last time and kiss her one last time.

I live in the mountains, the Colorado Rockies at 10,000' elevation.  This is the home that we built and where we loved every day.

WV is the place to cry, vent, scream, listen, read, and get ideas.  It saved me when Susan passed.  Susan passed 17 Dec 2012. One of my sons told me of this site and for a few months this was where I came for help and support, in the spring when I could be sure to get over the pass and into Denver, I joined a Grief Group called "Heart Light" and traveled the two hours (both ways) to meet with folks who spoke the same language as I did... tears, agony, fear, and calm.

WV saved me in those first months of agony.  It will be 8 years this coming December, I still come to visit, to help, and to learn.

Take care Lyn,

(HUGS) 
Frank

RSS

© 2020   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service