Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I've read many threads mentioning regrets & guilt ...

How have you dealt with them? Or do you? 

Is it best to forgive and forget?  Or simply forget?

*---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*

"Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better."   Albert Einstein ...

Views: 442

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I've never had many regrets, sometimes I wonder if different things happened would have life turned out differently, but  in my opinion, that's a waste of time.

I suffered from survivor's guilt -why some people do & others don't, is a mystery to me ...

Suffice it to say, we all grieve differently ...

For me, there was a reason for every emotion & occurence ...

There were many valuable lessons I learned during grief that prepared me for my new life ...

I gained a new perspective, which in turn allowed me to see what I needed to do to make grief a positive experience ...

Survivor's guilt isn't rational, but it is the same as other unexplainable feelings that arise ...

I craved more than intellectual understandings, I needed/wanted the soul deep lessons grief offered on humility, love, gratefulness, restraint from temptation, confession, etc, etc ...

Through introspection, I came to differentiate survivor's guilt from legitimate reasons to feel guilty ...

In doing so, it lessened the burden allowing me to better understand the benefits of learning the above to resolve my guilt issues that were eating me alive ...

I realize not everyone uses spiritual or religious guidance to overcome emotional obstacles, I can only share my grief experience as well as my practices in the hopes they will help at least one or a few people ...

My husband died 2 days before Thanksgiving 2015 from complications related to treatments for cancer. He had not eaten in a week, couldn't drink and when his heart stopped and even though he had a DNR, they tried to revive him. I knew this was not what He wanted and made them stop. Even though I know those were his wishes and I know the treatments were not going to cure him I still ask myself did I do the right thing.
We were married for 30 years and were best friends. In the last month his main concern was for me and mine was for him. I wanted him to live so bad and at the same time I didn't want him to suffer.
I keep telling myself I honored his wishes and kept him from being placed on a feeding tube and probably a ventilator. Being kept alive to suffer more.
Not sure this is what you are looking for but yes I do have guilt at times, but I know he wanted me to live my life. I try to honor our love by doing that.
You made the right decision. My husband died only two weeks ago and I even told him it was ok to leave if he had to. That I would always love him and no one would ever love him more than me. That we'd always be together. Miss him so much.and I lost my life that day.

Daveswidow,

My heartfelt condolences. I truly believe you made the right decision. (((HUGS)))

Grief is repetitive so much so we question ourself even though in our heart we know it was for the best. I think the repetition brings us to terms by having us question everything till our answers are consistent as well as not cause for self recrimination. Its painful, but it gets better over time. Processing grief is a long journey, just remember there is always someone here.

(((HUGS)))

I am coming to terms with the loss. I am thankful for the support of my family, church family and friends. It is a challenge to learn how to live as a single person and not part of a couple.
Between work, grandchildren and other activities I stay busy. It's just not the same. Being alone at 58 is a lot different than at 28.

I live with a fair amount of guilt. My wife died from cirrhosis due to alcohol. I always drank with her and I feel like a co-conspirator to her death. I certainly haven't "dealt" with the feelings. I figure I will have some kind of regret or guilt forever. I guess it gets easier to ignore as time goes on, at least that's what I've been told. But I'm not at that point yet.

My wife died from liver disease due to diabetes.     Hugs to you, cynic.

Thank you

For me I have few regrets,I list my wife suddenly in her sleep & I'll always think of her and reminisce.
There where a few issues she and I had,but all was forgiven as I strive forward.
It's difficult early on,in that we all wish we would have tried a bunch of things to save life,but I do feel sadly that when it's our time it is simply our time.
I had to find peace with that in my first year...take care all

RSS

© 2019   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service