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This Wed, Feb 28, at 2 pm, is the first date Arlington National Cemetery gave me for his full military service, and I took it. Otherwise holding on to his ashes until March or April seemed unbearable.

This Wed, Feb 28th, is exactly 6 months since the love of my life who stirred my heart and soul died on Aug 28, 2017. I was taking baby steps forward in between those unhappy leaps backward. But over this weekend, the subtle creeping in of emotions I thought were down to their last feeling came roaring back. Heartbreak. Anguish. Missing him. Sorrow. Pain. I'm sure you all know these feelings.

I want peace, to be happy again, to find joy in just waking up in the morning, in sipping on my coffee alone. I really do. I thought I was slowly, on a crooked path, moving in that direction. Over the weekend I felt like I got lost on the path, walking in a zombie-like state, the path took a wrong turn. Life was dark again without any light. I feel like it was on Aug 28 2017 at 1:46pm. 

Unsure of any steadiness, any peace, any comfort that these final good byes will give me, I am reaching to you all for prayers and positive energy.

Please.

Much gratitude.

June 28, 2017 our 47th anniversary

June 28, 1970 the beginning of 47 years

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such beautiful photos!! I understand there are military widows who will be there for you at ANC if you have to go alone. Peace.

Those are lovely photos!  Of course, I'll pray for peace and comfort for you my sweet friend.  Don't forget all you've learned you've got this Inside!  

Wishing you luck tomorrow, hope all goes well. I can understand the emotions, it really hasn’t been that long. A full military service is an honor, one that will make you feel proud. Take a lot of deep breaths if necessary, you’ll get through it.

Thanks for sharing the pictures, very nice!

Wishing you much peace and comfort on this day, many are walking with you today and always.

Eternally grateful to many family, friends, colleagues who were with me and my son as we laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery, my beloved husband Marty, who was called to our God way too young at only 68. It was a magnificent service.

God did bless me with 49 years of loving, living, laughing, traveling, and being with this man and his passion for life. Through that gift, 47 years married, I have another blessing of a wonderful son ,Chris, and he brought to my life, a caring daughter-in-law Anne, and two beautiful, intelligent granddaughters.

My grief counselor expressed it best. Her husband also died at 47 years of marriage. What she comforts me with is a different path other than getting through it: “Somehow, slowly, we live with it in our hearts.” 

That's my path. I’ll take living beside it, keeping the love of 49 years of happy memories in my heart. I love Marty, I always will. Someday I will be with him again. Until then #RIP my love.

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