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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I have a question, and I feel safe sharing it here.

Not every night, but a few nights a week, I have found that alcohol soothes my grief and helps me sleep.

I know it can be an addiction, but there are some nights, even after meditation, exercise, group support that alcohol numbs that pain like nothing else can. I dare anyone to tell me I am weak, reckless. I never drive or drink in the daytime. I drink at night when it's quiet, and I am alone with my thoughts, memories. It helps me sleep immediately.

Is this something some of you do as well? What other tools have you used that help you on those nights when all you can feel is alone and think of your spouse?


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While drinking may help (in the short term) I think it will lead to more problems than you want.

In my college days and for a few years afterward I drank pretty hard. Janet did not tolerate drinking and I stopped. Haven't had a drink since the 1980s. However just a few weeks ago I was thinking, "well maybe just a few, what can it hurt". But I realize (from my personal experience) that you build a tolerance to the alcohol and will have to increase the amount to get you where you want be. Then suddenly and quietly you are in a place that you don't want to be.

As for options I would like to hear some as well but I don't think drinking or over medication is one.


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