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Here's a spot where you can post your special September remembrances - wedding anniversaries, birthdays, anniversaries of your loss, children's weddings, etc. - and discuss the plans you have to get through those potentially hard days. 

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Lupe's birthday is on Sept. 5.    She would have been 58 on that day.     We are going to the Guadalajara Grill in Baldwin Park Ca and eat Mexican food and listen to Mariachi bands.     We spent one of her last birthdays at that restaurant and she loved it.    We will eat and tell stories about Lupe like we have the past few years.

Here's to Lupe! 

I think that's an excellent thing to do.


Hi Lupe's Husband. 

Wishing you and your family and friends a wonderful time with the most beautiful memories of Lupe at her birthday celebration in a restaurant she loved.

Cheers to Lupe!

Looks like we are going to have 14 people there on Monday.    One of her favorite singers, Juan Gabriel, passed away over the weekend, so it will be even more bittersweet.

It will be 3 years on Sept. 15th. A year has made a huge difference. Plus last year on Sept. 12th, my brother got married almost on the same site as Ed and myself so I was just full of emotions.

This year .... I'm not feeling sad. I actually haven't hardly focused on the date though I imagine I will. I'm in a really different place than I was last year (actually moved). I still talk to him and think of him but the distance is growing. That could make me sad but I also know I need to live my life and as it is the only one I am given, I want to make it as full as possible. Thoughts of finding someone else do surface but I am finding strange contentment alone and feeling blessed by family, friends, job, and home.

Hugs to all who do have big September days, whatever they are.

1 year on September 30th. I can't believe it, because everyday feels like the day after. I don't know what I'm doing, in terrified no one will remember, and terrified that they will.

I understand the pain and torment.  I am more than 2 and a half years along and, while I've gotten through a few hurdles in this difficult and oftentimes frightening journey -- the fear of the unknown, with many twists and turns -- there are still times when I feel as if I do not know what I am doing.

What is important is that "you" will always remember and carry your love in your heart, mind and soul.  Memories can be a double edged sword as they can carry us through as we go forward, or paralyze us as we freeze with the pain and torment.  Try and reach in and hang on to the better memories that carry you, it is the part of our loved ones that can never die.

It is still so difficult for you. Take it day by day, moment by moment if you have to. Don't look ahead - stay present. It will become clearer for you - a different time for each of us so I can't tell you when.

At just about 3 years, I do have good days. But when I look back to 2 years ago, I know what you are feeling.


You're not doing anything "wrong". I felt the same way at the one-year mark.

Unlike what DGIs think/believe (and want us to conform), one doesn't simple pass over some "magic threshold" and everything becomes "all right"/"normal"/"Insert adjective here." again. We're all on our own paths, encouraging/helping each other. You will find your way. Keep posting.

Silver Anniversary on September 28th.  Celebrating on Heaven and earth.

Love you Sweetheart!!!

Father's Day (it is in September in Australia) was last weekend,so I arranged to be at my son's place for that. Today (8th September) was his birthday,he would have been 74. On 19th September it will be four years since he died.  Not a good month but when I get  up each day I try to remember to make the most of it.  It is Spring in Australia and I need to do all the work in the yard and house to make it Spring ready so lots to do and hopefully not too much time spent grieving (well I do it anyway don't I?). At least it is getting less painful as time goes by.

Can we talk for a minute about love? Real heartbreaking, marvelous, disastrous, powerful love that survives everything, even death and our incredibly fragile yet robustly resilient hearts? You see I need to talk about it right now and would appreciate the ears and hearts of people that understand.
Today is my sixteenth anniversary. On a beautiful September afternoon, in a gracious historic church in Fredericksburg, Virginia, I walked down the aisle and said I do. It was the smartest thing I ever did and I will never regret it or the life that came afterwards. This is the fifth year that I have celebrated it without my husband. It’s funny how time stands still and moves so rapidly, I will always remember the sharp blue eyes behind the wire glasses, the wavy auburn hair, the strong jaw and especially the small nick in his left front tooth and yet it all seems so far away now. I seem like such a different woman, the life I planned with him turned out to be much shorter than I expected. I have been forced to grow into a different person. Part of me will always resent that, although a larger part of me is grateful that I have been allowed to grow and flourish in this new life. There is a section of me that will always be stomping my feet and cursing the unfairness of it, even though I know fairness plays no role in life or death. 
At this point in my life though, the larger portion of me is so thankful that I had that day and this memory. That I got to be an integral part of his orbit for a little over 13 years and part of that journey included that day. I can celebrate the day now, rejoice that we had it together and be thankful for the life we built together, even though it was way too short. I may shed some tears, I don’t know, but I know that I will smile and that my heart will overflow with love for him, that day, and that woman that I once was.
And I will also celebrate the life I have now and the woman I have become, because I have learned to celebrate each day that you have on this earth. I will share my day with a totally different man, one who wears Harley T-shirts, has tattoos and a little boy grin. And I will love him just as much as I love J.R, even though I know it will end as all things in life do. I will love both of them with an open heart and embrace the contradictions of this life. It seems almost impossible and incredibly foolish, but that is my choice and my life. Stuck in time and moving forward simultaneously. Mourning yet happy, cynical but forever optimistic that love can conquer all. Thank you for listening and one step at a time my fellow travelers.


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