A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
When I first met Ken, I was 29 and he was 36. He was the clinical director of a group of residential homes for kids with emotional problems. He wore a pager all the time and was often on the telephone dealing with crises in his uniquely calm and grounded manner. When I would drive over to his place in Chicago to see him, before we lived together, I would arrive at his apartment and walk through his yard, and I'd often see him through his sliding glass kitchen doors, still in his work clothes, and always, always, talking on the phone and taking care of some kind of problem. He looked so amazingly handsome and competent, and I trusted him implicitly. In our early days, months and years of being together, we could never go out to dinner without him having to leave the table to tackle some issue that someone would call him about. I thought it was sexy and heroic.
Gavin used to sing one of those cliche Italian songs every time he cooked Italian, even regular old spaghetti. I think it was Funiculi, Funicula, like this version....
When Duane showed up for our 2nd date he seemed really nervous. He asked if we could sit down & talk before we went out (it also happened to be his 43rd birthday). He took out a piece of paper and stated he had to write it down so he wouldn't forget what he wanted to say.
1. I'm really attracted to you
2. I really think we could have something special
3. Because of this I think we should take it slow
And we did. We didn't get married until 12 years later-five days before he was diagnosed with cancer. He died 362 days later.
I miss him so much.
p.s. While cleaning out his stuff after his death I found the original note that he read that day (Oct 13, 1996). He'd kept it all these years. It is one of my most prized possessions.
Wonderful! He knew you were the "one" and he admitted it very early on-very special!