Since my husband died 5 years ago, I find that I don't deal with stress very well. Anyone else?

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Permalink Reply by Robinak on June 16, 2011 at 7:09pm

Yes.    I think I was actually doing better in my numb and just making the motions stage than now, three years later.  Not sure why either.  I am starting to beieve its because who is here now to share with?  If I do something really cool, no one to tell.  So on and so forth.  I was able to talk to Rob.  Vice Versa.  So I am relearning to deal with everything on my own.  No wonder teenagers sleep so much.  Learning about Life is exhausting.

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Permalink Reply by cindy292 on June 20, 2011 at 12:44pm

I can relate to that and I'm sure many of us can also, in our own ways.  I don't sweat the small stuff either but I learned some of that just by getting older.  It has been over three years since Don died but I have more anxiety attacks about my own health issues now and I worry more about the family and friends I still have.  I keep thinking that I can't handle another loss of a loved one during my lifetime.  Just the thought scares me.

 

I have gained the most from being with other widowed friends who went through losing their husbands about the same time as I did.  We really understand each other and we can laugh or cry together with impunity.  They are a great comfort and we also have nice times together.

 

I sit down and make "gratitude lists" on the bad days in order to get my perspective back.  Sounds silly but it really helps me.  

 

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Permalink Reply by SallyStarre on June 20, 2011 at 8:46pm

Fuzzy I know what you mean.  I am only 3 months out but now my feeling of sadness is so overpowering. As a friend commented to me the other day I just exist I am not living.

 

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Permalink Reply by HorseMom on June 21, 2011 at 11:31am

I totally understand. I was always so together and kept everything running. I have two kids (7 and 9) who were 5 and 7 when their dad passed away. At first I felt like all the stress of 2 years of caregiving had been lifted and I felt very peaceful and relieved. But then as the second year without him started, I just sort of lost it. It came out of the clear blue sky--anxiety, panic attacks, etc. I was terrified (and still am) of having something bad happen to me and leaving my children alone. But through some medical help (anti-anxiety meds and antidepressants) I have been able to get on track and feel MUCH better. That said, I now realize I have to let other people help me and not always be the one in charge. I say no now when I never would have before and I try and give myself breaks and allow myself to not have to be perfect all the time. I have started seeing someone this last few months as well and that has also really helped--having someone to talk with in the evenings and even vent to if needed. Not sure if this helps you, but please know you are not alone!!!

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