Alma, I am so sorry you are experiencing anxiety. I have had a tremendous amount of anxiety over these four years since my husband died. Sometimes it feels crippling. It has gotten worse of late and so I am on several medications and seeing a therapist. Meditation and exercise helps as well
The situations in today's world and news just seem to heap worries on us. That being said, we who have lost our spouse, have lost half of ourselves. No one to talk to, to lean on, or support us. Our worlds have imploded, and exploded leaving us lost, and adrift in sea of emotions with no compass to guide us. We have to come to grips with our loss, accept our loss, and then rebuild a world (life) without our mate, and in some cases also without guidance. That is no walk in the park!
Just going to the store shopping can be scary. Taking your car in for service, filling out forms, getting something fixed around the house... Going out side by yourself and be scary. Without our "Rock" we constantly step out on thin ice and worry.
As we move through the grief and become more reassured with ourselves and the things we do, we will become more settled and more capable.
The more we do with other people the better we will become. We need to get out, attend meetings, eat out, become a part of various groups, and soon we will be able to locate that personal compass that helps guide us, and use it.
Such wise words. Thank you.
Alma....it does not get easier with time in my opinion and experience! You need sufficient health to move forward in the outside world when you are alone and as you age it becomes difficult as your abilities dim and you become less able. I have experienced this the past seven years. Yes, it is extremely scary and uncertain day to day but it is NOT impossible. It might mean no bed of roses or easy way to get through the grief. You have to accept yourself where you are and set expectations that are in harmony with your ability- as you age- dreams must include the reality of what you can do because 65+ is different than 35+ or 45+ or 55+/ and no two people are the same. It sounds so trite to say...one day at a time but it is true. No fast quickie way to get to the other side of grief. Keep busy but well rested. Do small things that spark joy for you. Ignore the know-it-alls who really haven't a clue but preach suggestions to you. Understand your feelings are worthy and real BUT your truth in life is more important- you are needed and loved and here for a reason in spite of being lonely and frightened. Long drawn out process with both valleys and mountain top experiences- all for your growth or your good. Relax and understand you are still whole and capable of healing. In fact we are designed to weather life and reach victory all in good time. Believe your truth.