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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I guess I have a reputation here of putting a positive spin on things. I'll take that. As long as you understand that doesn't mean that this has been easy for me or that I don't have any 'down' moments. That said, I'd like to offer this space for only POSITIVE thoughts ... quotes, poems, photos ... things that may help you to feel a little spark of HOPE when you most need it. 

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Good one, thank you for posting!

"Somewhere between what she survived, and who she was becoming, was exactly where she was meant to be. She was starting to love the journey. And find the comfort in the quiet corners of her wildest dreams. They say people don't change ... well, she wasn't always this way. Even if she didn't change the entire world, she would change her part of it. And she would affect the people she shared it with. A butterfly who's wings have been touched, can indeed still fly. Whether something was meant to be, or meant to leave, didn't matter as much anymore. She would soak up the sun, kiss the breeze, and she would fly regardless."


Beautiful, Dianne :)

This is greatly appreciated, the 18th will be 2 months without my lover and best friend... His family did not have a funeral so I decided to have a candle light vigil for him tonight, so it's been a tough day for me and I needed a pick me up. I'm also new to this site and I'm glad to know I'm not alone.. So thank you
Aly, the candle light vigil is a beautiful way to celebrate the love of your loved one. You are not alone.

There are little kindnesses and good things that cross our paths every day but they are so easy to overlook or to forget about on the hard days. Want to join me in starting a Good Things Jar this year?  Just pick any jar/vase/basket/fish bowl and place it in a spot that you'll see every day. Have little slips of paper and a pen next to your jar so you can easily write down the good things you want to remember. And don't forget to add the date!

The original idea behind Kindness or Gratitude or Happiness or Good Things jars was to start the year off by recording something good about every day and placing it in your jar and then opening it up on the last day of the year ... but why stop with just one thing a day?  And why wait until the end of the year to read them?  These would be good things for us to read on those really hard days, our anniversaries or holidays or days when triggers bring us to a low spot. Those days happen to all of us.  

I'm going with colorful bits of paper, but you can cut up pieces of copy paper or use the back of an envelope or junk mail you receive. Just write it out and note the date, fold it up and place it in your jar. And keep adding to it. Every day. Because good things do happen each day, it's just harder to see them sometimes unless you're looking for them.

You receive a special note or card or FB message, someone lets you merge into the freeway (instead of speeding up!), you put fresh linens on your bed, you find a feather or heart along your travels, you accomplish a goal, those beauties in nature that often cross our paths - birds, butterflies, clouds, even Widowed Village could earn a slip of paper for providing you with this community! 

You could do this in a journal, too - I did that right after Vern died; kept it by my bed to write in each night - but I like the idea of this being visual, watching the jar fill up will be a good thing, too!  And I'm starting mine today because I just had a very unexpected delivery of flowers!


Such a good idea, Dianne. Our lives are filled with positives and beauty but sometimes we allow the negatives to dominate our thoughts. This is a great visual aid to help us turn around and to gently remind us when we're feeling down. Thanks for the suggestion!

Hi Dianne.  A friend sent me the good experience jar as part of his new years day greeting.   That is the mindulfness that comes with an old friend.  

it is a great idea. Like a good news journal on post its in a jar.  

I have had several of my childhood friends connect with me. My mom passed away in September. One year and a month after my husband.  Some of my childhood friends whom i have not seen for decades were at the funeral.  I don't see them because i have chosen to avoid the social gatherings.  They are all still very married, very happy and i am not ready for all that married cheer.   I do connect with them on FB and whatsapp.  It is what i can deal with for now.    Best wishes and may our jars be filled with reasons to smile in 2018.


This was in my Facebook memories today and I'd like to share it here. It's pretty much how I've tried to live my life since Vern died. It was written by Richard Wagamese, an Ojibway author:

Missing someone is feeling a piece of your heart gone astray. Sure, it keeps beating, sure you keep breathing, but there’s a gap in the rhythm of it, and a gap in the rhythm of the everyday things around you. You seem to move a little less gracefully – but you still move – and that’s the critical thing. Because missing someone doesn’t mean all things grind to a halt. Instead, it means you move out of gratitude for the gift of their presence in your life, you move to keep experiencing, to keep confronting life head on, so that the returning - when it happens - allows you to reunite with them as MORE. I miss you today… but I am in the process of becoming more for you, more human, more alive, more real despite the ache. Not a bad sentiment I figure…

Hi Diane.. And so it is. And so it is.


I'd like to share with you  a good news about my younger  daughter.Her first surgery for removing a pigment naevus showed that she has no melanoma.And the second surgery for pulling out a retained wisdom teeth was ok,too.

Best wishes to all!

I too would like to share some good news with you.

Yesterday, finally, my late husband's previous house finally SOLD!    We had almost thirty years of owning two houses, and I was left with his little 19th century place to sell.   The market here is not good, but I had hopes.

I didn't really find it hard letting it go,in principle;  but what I found hard was the unbelievable to-ing and fro-ing on the part of the potential buyer and his lawyer (who shouldn't be in practice, in my opinion);  I was ready to let go - and then there came the queries - the "Ah, but what about . . . ?" which were the product of misreading the title deeds, repeatedly :-)    Yes, OK, I can laugh a little now, but it was very stressful.   It got so I couldn't bear to drive through the village and pass in front of the property.     

Well, as I say:  it sold.    Money's in the bank.     The news came in while I was cleaning the kitchen floor.    After I'd hung up, I stood there, not knowing what to do;  so I got on with cleaning the kitchen floor - after all, life goes on . . . 


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