A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
suffering a loss for the second time
I lost my first hubby 12 yrs ago to a motorcycle accident,3 weeks ago lost my fiance at 49 yrs old unexpectedly....going through this once was extremely difficult.I didnt think i would be going though it again so soon.Dont know if i can do this.....
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by bramky on -
wX2, I'm so sorry you have to go through this again. Sending hugs and prayers your way. {{{widowedx2}}}
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Permalink Reply by Lisa ( Marielee) on
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Widowedx2 - So sorry my friend. There are no words . Just be reasssured that this is one of the best places for unconditional love and friendship from those who truly "get it". You did make it through the first time and you will again ... just one step , one breath at a time. Keep coming here and reaching out. (((HUGS))) Lisa
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Permalink Reply by widowedx2 on -
i guess i can take confort knowing there are others like me.Thank you for the encouragment!:)
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Permalink Reply by jean on -
I am SO sorry. There are a few here who have been through this twice also, you are NOT alone. ((((hugs)))) Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Permalink Reply by honeys(puddin) on
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My sons father killed himself when our son was 4 1/2 yrs. old (I guess around 25 yrs. ago). I had been with him for about 6 yrs total. Lots of mental health problems to deal with and eventually he couldn't take it anymore. It was so traumatic for everyone. It took me years to be able to talk about it w/out crying. Eventually I met my husband and he was in fact the love of my life for the past 20 yrs. He died of Cardiac Arrest in May. It surprised me to finally be able to think about the first loss and (not to be mean) but it now seems like nothing compared to the loss I'm feeling now. I've also had 2 former boyfriends kill themselves (not while we were in relationships) which has me thinking I'm some sort of Black Widow:( I am unable to take anymore. I'm done with relationships. My husband was such a force of nature that I am satiated in the love department and will live my life till I can join my Honey:)
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Permalink Reply by bj628(Bonnie) on -
You are not alone.. I am also a widow x2. I lost my 6 yr old son to neuroblastoma in 1972, My father & husband died 5 months apart in 1979. my mom in 1984 My very best friend in 2005 and my husband of 20 years June of 2011.
Each loss is diferent: but a loss can bring up past loss,
You have found a safe place here on WV, you can vent, Blog .. Chat is great especially in the evening or when we feel lonely or vunerable. If you come to chat.. please Know we will not know you are in the chat room. the list on the left shows the people on Line.. So please Say Hi and tell us you are new to chat or need some support.. You will make friends quickly and know you are not alone.
((((((((((((((((widowx2))))))))))))))
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Permalink Reply by sisterphoenix (stacey) on -
x2, Thank you for sharing, both here and on the other message board.
*hugs* I happen to be a young widow (now two times) at the age of 38. Unfortunately, I had a sister and a friend make this journey before me, then another one after me. We've taken turns supporting one another in that way that only widows get it. Though nobody can understand our unique journey, it helps SO much to have "sisters" in this.
You said in this entry "I don't know if you can do this". I understand that feeling. And also that I have no choice, because I've got three children who deserve to have a mother, and one day grandbabies that deserve a grandma. It's really hard.
Again, thank you for sharing.
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Permalink Reply by Ellen on
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Hi widowedx2: You are not alone. My first husband died at the age of 45 from Multiple Sclerosis. He suffered with this horrible disease for almost 13 years and I was his loving caretaker the entire time. I was also raising our son who was 12 when he died. After 3 years, I met Barry, who was divorcing and gaining custody of his son. We married and formed what I like to call "a mini Brady bunch". My son and stepson are only two years apart. Barry had a heart condition that we learned about 13 years after we married, but we never really knew how serious this condition could be. His only symptoms were occasional dizzy spells but towards the end he started getting some chest pains. However, he was on the proper medications prescribed by his cardiologist and he always made sure not to overexert himself, because that could bring on lighheadedness or fainting. He worked full time and we traveled a great deal all over the U.S., the Caribbean and Europe. We really enjoyed this and thank God we did as much as we actually did. Dont ever wait to do things you really want to do in this life, because tomorrow is promised to nobody. To make a long story short, we were away this past New Year's weekend and he started having dizzy spells and chest pains. Normally, he would just rest awhile and put ice packs and the pain would ease up and then stop in about 10 minutes and once again he was fine. Well this time while we were away, I called an ambulance and in less than 3 hours, he was unable to breathe, started having heart failure and other problems and died of sudden cardiac arrest. He was only 64 and I never ever could have imagined being widowed for the second time. We were married 27 years. Although we were aware of his condition, he took care of himself and we never knew it could cause sudden cardiac arrest. I was in a state of shock for weeks and only recently am I grasping the full reality of it all. I am so angry that I have had to lose 2 husbands, both wonderful and intelligent men. I felt so secure and comfortable with my husband and never expected him to die so suddenly and so young. I am reading books on grieving and widowhood, going to support groups and will be starting individual therapy tomorrow. I have bad days and not so bad days, but I know all of this is normal. I just wanted you to know that I understand what you must be going through and I pray that you will find comfort and peace. Please write to me so we can help each other in this terrible and painful journey that we are traveling. If we can help each other, I am sure we will not feel so alone. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for both of us. Please remember, you are never alone.
Fondly,
Ellen
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