A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Are you planning a vacation -- or does that seem too overwhelming this year?
Share your memories of summers past, or thoughts about new traditions you might start... or perhaps just the dread of living through this coming summer in a different way.
Do you have some special ways of coping or self-care in the summer, or trips and traditions that enrich your experience?
Or does the heat simply drive you indoors....?
That is what I have missed this year and last---keeping up my flower/veggie gardens. It hurts to walk by them and see them in such disarray. I'm not going to do any landscaping this year at my new location. I just need to take some time off and relax.
Juliana, I would rather have you as a neighbor than some that I have right now. Our furry friends are our family and if people do not like it then I say "To Bad." They have better manners and are more well behaved than most people are. My son has an American Pit Bull. He is more protective of me and small children than anyone else. I have a member of the board of directors of our Home Owners Association working on a grandfather clause to have him grandfathered in because of the stupid by -laws. HOA rules are no dogs over 30 lbs and no Pit Bulls, Rotts or Dobermans. They are so stupid.
Bravo for you!!! I can't imagine mowing that amount of terrain plus going through everything plus having all the auctions and putting up with everyone. You are a star. I am just amazed!!!
I hope your summer is full of lots of fun!
Thank you Suz.....I hope yours is as well!
Wow - 7 hours of mowing ... I cannot imagine! But I do understand how that time on the mower gave you the gift of time for reflection. Happy you're now thinking ahead, planning for your future. Thinking of your plans for the 30th makes me smile; hope to see a photo here.
Summers in Vegas are HOT and my pale complexion doesn't do so well in the blazing sun - but Vern loved the heat. I would find him floating in the pool every day when I got home from work, baking in the hot sun. He just loved relaxing out there after working in the yard. I can't remember the last time I got in the pool; perhaps I need to give it a try some evening.
Vern was a teacher, so summers were our time for vacations. When our parents were still alive, we always headed back to Michigan/Ohio to see family. After his cancer diagnosis, traveling became difficult so I purchased a wheelchair van and we were able to make a trip to Crystal Pier in California two years in a row. He loved that little cottage #9 on the pier, sitting out on the deck, watching people, listening to the waves. Really good memories that overshadow those very tough years.
At first, I started to plan trips. Nothing too exciting but trips to see friends and family in nearby states. Now I want to stay home. All I can remember are the many trips we took around the country, looking for clinical trials for Jud and I am tired of airports and flying. I went to Mesa a month ago (before it was a hundred) and it was pleasant but I want to be in my own house and snuggle with my dogs.
The weather in MN is hot and humid. And we also have giant mosquitos. I think we got the best of it this Spring. I do love going up north to the Boundary Waters. beautiful place with birch trees, pine trees and the cries of loons. Very calming and comforting to me.
Our younger son is getting married June 2. That has taken up most of my thinking time. Our older son lives with me and takes care of the lawn, for the most part. I planned to go to the Republican National Convention in August, with my older son, who was supposed to be a delegate, but his candidate is no longer running, so why bother? What else for this summer? I don't know. Maybe a trip of some kind, but to where, and why bother?
Last summer I was still very raw. This summer I am much more healed, at least scabbed over. But I still don't know how to plan fun...... does that make sense? I'm doing really well, very seldom have melt downs, but Mike made life fun. I don't know how to do that alone.
This is my 4th Summer without Walter, and I realize that I'm not feeling as anxious this year about the special occasions as I have before. This coming Sunday, June 3rd is our wedding anniversary. But, I'm going to Yosemite with some members of my family for a couple of days and then on Sunday I'm going to a gospel concert alone. I didn't want anyone to go with me on that day, because even though I don't want to be at the house looking at the four walls, I just wanted to do something special by myself. Walter's birthday is July 30th and mine is August 9th. I'm not sure how I'll remember his birthday this year because I have to work that day, but I know my family will do something special for mine. I'm just glad that this year I feel better about those days. Even though I will always miss Walter, now at least I can smile when I remember him and all our wonderful times together.
It's nice to know that there is healing in time. Tomorrow it will be 5 months to the day that Ken died. My heart is still completely broken. It helps to know that I'll be able to look back without crying.
Oh Julianna, my heart is still completely broken over Walter, it's just that I have learned to live with that knowledge and cherish the time we had. I know so many people who never got to know what true love looks like and I did. The tears still come, just not nearly as often and I'm so grateful for that. I didn't like crying all the time or not knowing when the wave would hit. It seemed almost anything could trigger my tears the first two years after his death. At 5 months out after his death, I was in such a fog and honestly most of that year I don't even remember, so give yourself time. What I learned so far is to not try to rush through grief because there is no timeframe on when you start to feel better, but to lean into it and let it be what it is because that's the only way to get through it. But, you will get through it. For me, my faith in God has helped tremendously because when I'm all alone and it's too late to call a friend or my daughter, I can call on the Lord. I wish you strength for your journey. God bless.
I know what you mean about being privileged to have a true love. There's a price to pay for loving greatly, but it is certainly worth the price to have lived with and be loved by such a fine man. I too count on God every minute of every day. I give him all the credit for getting me this far. Thank you so much for your insights. They have been and continue to be a great help. I'm sure glad I found this web site, but I give God the credit for that too.