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Does anyone else do this? I lost hubby on Dec 12 this year. Now, I find myself talking to hubby, aloud or in my head, as I do something. Like, what do you think, maybe this one, huh? Or, okay, let's go get some veggies, I have to try cooking and eating something today. As I'm "talking", I feel good, in the sense that I'm calm and rational. However, I'm wondering if I'm in a state of denial without knowing it. If so, I want to discontinue this habit.

I would appreciate any opinion. Thank you.

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Yes i too wish very much for my hubby to send me a sign any thing and feel sad when i feel i.m only left with memories instead of a validation of our loce i try not too get too down about it but i do wish and hope often for one.

Maggiepie,

I have pretty much from day one. I think it is completely natural to think and talk out loud to our loved ones. I have always talked to my late father in my mind (not so much out loud). He was very special to me my whole life and he died 20 years ago. It is on an completely different level the deep loss of Sharon death a few months ago, has created. I often say good morning and always say good night. I do look at her picture and ask aloud how did this happen to us ( not expecting an answer ). The loss is so difficult, I miss her so deeply. Sharon and I were together for almost all our lifes (would have been 40 years soon). She really was my friend as much as my wife. So not have that wonderful lady to chat with everyday is impossible to live. So in my head she will always be with me. I know what she would say most the time, so asking out loud, I am just answering my own questions. Healthy - I think so. I do not hold any of the beliefs they are waiting on the other side. I see things simple, we live, and hopefully have wonderful lives. I also not too sure about people talking about signs from loved ones. If that belief helps one from day to day and moving forward with hope to the future then I am all for it.

I do hope you are finding some comfort knowing what ever is working for you is what is most important,

Steve

The best one was, I was getting ready to leave for work one morning, put on the jacket, grab the phone, ipod, hat and my bag, and then I said in a loud voice, as if someone was there..."I'm going!" WTF! 

Oh yes, entirely normal. There's a grief theory that would probably make sense to a lot of us, called "continuing bonds." Basically, maintaining a connection to our beloved dead is not at all harmful or unusual. In fact, it's healthy- as you said, it brings a sense of calm. I was making cake this last weekend, and joked out loud to my partner about it while I did so. He so loved cake.

I posted this in somewhere else but I'd do it here too. 

I have been doing this. Whenever I feel I'm about to go into another state of extreme grief, I talk to hubby aloud or in my head. I'd say something typical of me. Like, "okay, let's get on with it", or, "I know, do something instead". This jolts my mind, not that the grief is not there, but I'm not letting it control me. Of course, at times, I burst out crying anyway. When that happens, I let it. But, I'd talk to hubby after that and say "okay, let me find something to do". So far, this method seems to rewire my brain to be aware of the grief and I let it happen without letting it overwhelm me. If that makes sense. 

Hi Maggiepie...Oh I think this is totally normal..well for some of us, lol and if not, who cares..do what makes you feel good and comforted.

.I have a photo of my husband Ray (died 9/11/19) on my dresser and often refer to it. I was fortunate to have captured an expression he had many many times..with a twinkle in his eyes and knowing smile...I talk with him a lot. I believe that while he left his physical body his soul/energy lives on ..somewhere...and so talking to him is natural 

Thanks for the input, Shebert56. I also do not believe in coincidences. I haven't had any more "tv turning on" occurrences. But it solidified for me that I was not going out of mind when certain thoughts from hubby popped into my head or when I heard a man's voice calling out to me as I panicked and thought I had arrived at the wrong place for Reiki. 

I've done the dumbest things when it comes to directions and recognizing our car. Back in the days, I had opened the door to our car, put one foot inside, then saw that the man behind the wheel was not hubby. The man grinned and I could tell he knew I made a mistake. He was probably waiting for his wife/girlfriend etc. My husband was in his car, looking over and laughing. The cars looked the same! So when I went for my Reiki (day before the service for hubby at the church), in my distracted state, I thought I had managed to walk to the wrong building, when in fact, I did not.  I guess hubby was watching from the other side and trying to direct me as usual. 

Yes, our loved ones are now energies. When our frequencies align with theirs, we connect. I totally believe that. 

Hello Maggiepie, 

I know just what you mean and my prayers are with you. I loss my dear Harry October of 2019 and I do the same thing. I talk to him all day long, in the car, at the store, cooking dinner and even praying over my meals. I wear his wedding ring on my thumb so I find myself kissing it all the day. LOL. I don't take this as denial just my deep love and connection for him.  I don't think it's something you need to discontinue since your lost is so new. You can't just caught off things you were so use to doing with your hubby. Everything takes time. 

Stay Blessed 

I do that a lot too. First thing in the morning, I say morning and as I go about getting up, I'm already talking to hubby. Especially if I'm wondering what to do for the day. I also include him in what I'm doing. Like he was standing there right beside me, except that he's on the other side!

I read the best way to get validation is to ask for specific things.  I asked my wife to give me a sign with dates, coins and a bunch of purple grapes.  In a way that I couldn't explain, the other day my birth day appears on the odometer.  A few more things happened afterwards.  I speak out load to my wife asking for more signs, just to be sure we are making a connection.  So don't give up!

I get my wife's birth date a bit and just when I need it. One of the first times is when I went to an auction a few weeks after she passed. You had to scan your drivers license to get a bid number 001 - 999. The machine was not working for the people ahead of me so I tried, it worked and printed the bid number of 511, Janet's Birth date.

Now many would say that was just a coincidence but similar incidences happened quite often. I was not looking for "signs" they just appeared to me and normally when I was at a low point. Four years out they do not appear at the same frequency as in the beginning but they still occur to the point where I take notice.

Rich, I've learned there are no coincidences.  Janet sent you a sign!  Signs don't always appear when we ask for them.  She is still connected to you and still right here.  

SoreEyes, keep talking to her.  She hears you, even if the talking is just your thoughts.  They LOVE hearing from us!  Our relationship with our departed is now different, but we can still have a relationship.

I recall around Christmas seeing an old bumper sticker on a car parked next to me that read "We are a spiritual being having a human experience."  Made me smile.

~Shirley

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