Does anyone else do this? I lost hubby on Dec 12 this year. Now, I find myself talking to hubby, aloud or in my head, as I do something. Like, what do you think, maybe this one, huh? Or, okay, let's go get some veggies, I have to try cooking and eating something today. As I'm "talking", I feel good, in the sense that I'm calm and rational. However, I'm wondering if I'm in a state of denial without knowing it. If so, I want to discontinue this habit.
I would appreciate any opinion. Thank you.
Maggie, one way those on the other side try to communicate is through electrical methods. They are, after all, now pure light and energy, and everything is energy.
I have had, and continue to have, some interesting electrical things too. Sometimes I come to my computer and the screen is at the lock screen with Stephen's name up on the screen. Not a computer reboot, just randomly pops up the lock screen. Or the one time the alarm clock in Stephen's bedroom began to ring. I had not touched that alarm in over two years, and when I went to turn it off, the dial was actually in the "on" position. I've received signs in other ways too.
Some others' examples - A friend who lost his elderly father, who was an electrician by trade, had a light bulb in his bedroom blink off and on. He checked the bulb and it was fine. Another friend who cared for her elderly mother at home, would come home some days from work, and the lamp in her mother's bedroom was turned on. Another who lose her mother years ago who would find the light in her mother's china cabinet turned on.
A good friend, who I referred to as "Stephen's work wife" will send me a text, and in the back and forth conversation, my contact name will change to Steve. She removed Stephen long ago from her contacts. Then mysteriously the contact name will change back to my name.
Dolly, I have had one dream visitation. In it, Stephen came to say he could only stay one hour. I don't recall what we did, but then he said it's time for me to go. I didn't want him to go. In the dream, he leaned in and gave me a big hug. I then woke up, and I could feel on my physical body where he hugged me. And it was such a pure peaceful feeling, no sadness to waken and find him not here.
I don't believe in coincidences. My heart and total being tells me yes, these are "winks." I trust and believe it. When these things now happen, I say thanks Stephen and chuckle. So wonderful.
Maggiepie....What a great experience you!
Just this morning I fixed myself a breakfast which was his favorite! We talked about that! :)
I see his face every day and sometimes I talk to him. I have no idea what he would think of me today but I imagine he still would love me. As I still love him.
I think it's fine to talk to him!
I do that too. I'd put something on the stove and tell him what I'm about to do.
You know how people say what would jesus do? Well in my house we say what would dad do or sometimes i ask myself what would ricardo do? I have a 10 years old son ricky his dad was his best friend and you know losing not only your dad but at that age your best friend is even harder. So i encourage him to still keep his relationship or the feeling and memory of his dad alive in many ways. and my four year old lil girl Ruby i fear will not have many actual memories she remember if we dont help her to remember those memories often. So i try my hardest for them and me to keep certain things about him alive. In addition to encouraging to keep his memory alive i also write in composition books things about their dad that i remember or stories that have meaning to him or in our relationship. Milestones of the kids with him and what he was wearing or what he said orhow he expressed what her felt at that moment with him in it. My husband was a great man and the best father. Since the day i met him i knew that all he ever wanted to be was a great man husband and father family always came first and i want my kids to remember that and remember the love that he had for them and hopefully they carry that love in their heart along with the memories we share for ever withthem that way they will always have him when they need him in that way. It pains me so much to know that he will miss out on so much of what we always looked forward to enjoying together watching our children grow up. With every holiday birthday special event even parent teacher conference that he is no longer there is bitter sweet and heart wrenching. After wards when a holiday or vacation or busy family filled day would come to days end we would look at each other and he would grab my hand and say thank you today was a great day because we got through it and we did it together as a family i love you babe. And now each time that time come around i look to my side where he would have been sitting and sigh deeply and tears fill my eyes and i cant help but to sobb because he wasnt there to say today was a good day. I hate not having him here he should be here with us it just doesnt even feel like i.m living the right life without him. Oh how i miss him so.
Yes, CryinCali, I really understand about looking to the side and he's not there. In the bed, in our chairs by the tv, and how we would sit together, him with his tea and me with my cup of coffee, but now, he's really gone. It's so painful, knowing that the emptiness in the bed and chair is real. At times, I feel guilty that I'm seeing something and I think, that's nice, but hubby can't enjoy it. Commonsense tells me he would be the first person to want me to live happy and well, but nothing's the same without him.
I am truly sorry for your loss. It's been almost two years since my soulmate passed away. Do I talk to him? Yes, every day. Shortly after his passing I purchased a curio to display some of his prized possessions from his time in Viet Nam as well as the US flag that was presented to me at his burial. Every night I turn on the light and say goodnight. In the morning I turn the light off and say good morning. Sometimes when I've been faced with a really hard decision I will talk outloud to him and discuss my options. It calms me down and just makes me feel better. I must admit that sometimes I have yelled at him and demanded to know why he left me here all alone. And in my head I can hear him respond, "You know I didn't want to go. We were having so much fun. I put up a good fight. Believe me I didn't go easily. And please know that I am waiting patiently for our reunion." On his birthday the first year of his passing my youngest son and daughter and the grandchildren visited the cemetery. They each "spoke" to dad/grandpa in their own way. As they headed back to the cars my son patted me on the back and left me there alone. They knew I wanted to have a private conversation with my husband. In denial? I say no way are we in denial. We will wake up and lay down every night from that moment on knowing that our loved one is gone. You do what gives you a sense of comfort. Take care.
Thanks for letting me know. I've been "taking" hubby with me on my morning walks. It's a good feeling.
Great topic-thank you.
I have conversations with both my deceased wives at times. It usually focuses on what I wish I had said, but for whatever reasons, I did not pursue it.
Sometimes it focuses on an area of stress or conflict in the relationship and that I regret I wasn't more honest (with my feelings).
Sometimes it's about the fantastic talent they both had and how proud I felt to be their husband, but did not disclose that often enough.
But more than not, I tell them how grateful I feel to have shared my life with them.
That I still love them so much.
And I thank them for taking the risk of marrying me. I tell them how much I miss them and what gifts they were to me.
I cant believe you have been through this twice. My heart goes out to you.
My husband passed 6 months ago. I talk to him all day long. Out loud and in my head. I have a big picture of him in our bedroom. I say a prayer for/to him every night before bed. I talk to him about our children, about my day, about decisions I have to make. I make jokes that I know would make him laugh. I express my deep deep regret, about things I should have said, things I should have done, things I should never have said..... Most of all I tell him constantly how I miss him so much it hurts, and that I love him eternally....I believe that he hears me.....
Sending you all love
It's amazing that most people I've asked do "talk" to their loved ones that have passed on. Initially, I thought grief was putting me into an "obsessive" state of mind.
Thanks for sharing, very much appreciated.
Almost 5 years here, I still talk to him. I ask him how I am doing, if he would be proud of me.