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 Rings. I'm sure this has been discussed a million times. Sorry if you all have had this one too many times.

I've had a bad case of maybe exzema, or something of the sort going on with my fingers. Started splitting open and was pretty bad. Dr told me to remove all jewelry while its been healing. Its been about 6 weeks and my fingers are almost back to normal. I decided to try my putting my wedding ring back on today, and it just felt so strange. I never, ever took it off for anything for 28 years. But now, after having them off, it just seemed strange to put them back on. I never would have thought of taking them off, until I had to. So, now what? I think people have gotten used to seeing me without them. No one has asked. (I'm sure they see the cracked skin anyway). Do I just leave them off now?? And if I do, what do I do with them?? I thought of making them something new for my right hand so I can at least still have some of it with me..but is that weird??

Does anyone else worry or wonder about this??

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I keep mine -Ron's original, the one we bought as a replacement when the original got lost, and my wedding band on a chain around my neck.  (I found the original wedding band 6 months after Ron died.)  My engagement ring has a pink topaz in the middle so it doesn't look like an engagement ring; I wear that occasionally. along with my other rings.

Hi Jabs,

This is kind of a "Variation on a Theme."  It's sort of "when should (could) I take off my ring(s)?  I'm sure if you are looking for a time frame, after x number of months, or even, years you will get all sorts of answers.  For me, it was right around 6 months.  I was acknowledging to the folks around me that I was a widower, but still had my ring on, a sort of contradiction so to speak.  I was driving past the store where I'd had Susan's engagement ring made and then later where we had it modified for each decade of marriage by adding another diamond to it.  For some reason, I drove into their parking lot, and went in.  The gal who asked to help me was the one that we had been dealing with over the years.  She greeted me and (of course) asked how Susan was.  I broke down and told her that she'd passed in December of 2012.  I guess I was a mess, she told me were the restroom was and I went in and washed my face, composed myself (some) and went back out.  I asked her how I might have the ring taken off.  She tried various soaps, and oils, and finally said the only way would be to cut it off.  That sounded to aggressive to me.  It was as if I were mad and determined to have that darned thing OFF.  Entirely the opposite.  She said that she would be careful and that if I wanted, I could have it enlarged a size or two so I could slip it on and off.  I said OK and she cut it off.  She looked inside the ring and exclaimed that the spot we'd chosen was THE perfect spot.  It was right in the empty space, just before the engraving that Susan had them do when the ring was made.  That revelation was to me, it was as if Susan was telling me that it was time to take the ring off and that it was OK with her.

Jabs, as you move through time and events from now on, these questions are normal and occur to everyone on their on path.  We can all describe our thoughts, feelings, and what we decided, but, in the end You will know when it is Time.  Go with your "gut" and while doing that,factor in honoring your marriage and your spouses love.  You will then find that the time was right, and you were right.



Whatever is comfortable for you ...

This could be your first step to feeling comfortable in making your own decisions as well as building confidence in making them ...


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