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Is something I really miss. Just to be held and have my back rubbed as I grieve. How do you learn to live with that loss?

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I miss this terribly.  I just want to hug Sandi.  We had a very close physical and emotional relationship.  I just hug her pillow and dream of the comfort we gave each other.  I don't think anything or anyone will be able to replace that..  2.5 years and it still hurts to sit alone at night, go to bed and get up alone. Sad, lonely and heartbroken is my mantra.  

Take care Hugs


Thank you for responding. It's only been ten months for me.

Alma...TIME  and  PATIENCE.   At  8yr +  the longing  does  not  end.  Some  go  for  massages- I  could  not.  Some  channel  that energy  into  physical  activity or  exercise.  Others  get  pampered  with  hairdressers   etc.  Many  seem  to  get  into  other  physical  relationships  to  get  satisfaction...I  guess  for  some  of  them  it  works  but  many  are  filled  with regret  when  it  turns out  to  not  be  the  answer.  Keeping  busy  helping other people  seems  to  help  a  lot  and  keeps  the  longing  at  bay.

Bottom  line  Time  and  patience  are  necessary to  survive.  You  do  learn  to  live  with  it  slowly . 

That is what I figured. I have plenty of time especially as it has only been ten months for me but patience I am really lacking.

It's coming up 4 months for me, and I'm also really missing it.  Even getting to 10 months feeling that loss seems too hard, patience is lacking for me as well.

I'm coming up 5 months now. The Covid lockdown put me into self isolation for 4 of those months so my only human contact was with the delivery driver that delivered my food and that was from a first floor window. When the restrictions eased I was able to form a "social bubble" with my daughter and her husband and baby boy. I have visited a couple of times and the one concession we have made is that we can hug each other and believe me it is a fantastic feeling. We still maintain social distancing as best we can at other times. 
This weekend will be another first for me as I will be staying overnight albeit in a tent in my cousins garden, still alone but alone somewhere else.

My youngest daughter and her family are waiting to relocate from the UK to Chicago where her husband has a job. As they can't get a direct flight from the UK they have flown to Croatia for a few weeks where they will be able to fly to the states.
However dark things get I have things to look forward to like the birth of my 3rd granddaughter in September then the rush of family birthdays and the eventual visit to see my daughter in Chicago if and when it is permitted.
All of these things we would have done together whereas now I have to do these things for both of us.
My wife may not be with me in body but she will never leave my heart and it is her that helps me through each day. Sending you all a virtual hug x

I'm now pretty firmly convinced that the covid distancing has/is having some pretty profound effects on at least some of us.  I developed a sort of shake got bad enough that I couldn't have a bowl of soup or pour a glass of juice.  Like you, I found even a back hug from my daughter felt incredibly good.  Interestingly, it also calmed the tremors a bit temporarily.

Also interestingly, a till-now platonic relationship with a lady-friend has become somewhat more physical recently, and the shaking has diminished dramatically.  It could be coincidence, but I think not.

It's been six weeks since I lost my wife, but the longing for her touch is not decreasing at all.  Just the simple act of holding hands while out grocery shopping or sitting on our couch makes me ache and something I miss terribly.  A kiss at night before going to sleep was he bow that wrapped up our day.  Now the day ends ever so incomplete, fragmented, and less than.  How do we live with that loss Alma?  At this point, I have no earthly idea. 

We just do. I have just past the one year mark of my husband's death. I still miss his touch at times. This pandemic isn't helping things either. But I get hugs where I can. Pet my dog a lot too. And try to accept that in this life his touches are over.


I wish I knew, my husband was a loving soul and I miss him so much.  I miss snuggling before going to sleep, waking up together, walking and holding hands and being together.  I feel despair so much of the day.  The only comfort I have is a dog I adopted who is obsessed with me ;-) and when Bruce comes to me in my dreams.  It's always good to have him even if it's for a few seconds but I wake up crying, a mixed feeling.  I'm getting a repetitive dream where he appears and I know he's passed but I beg him to stay. It's been 5 months since he passed, I hope I can adjust, I have 2 daughters and I can't always be crying to them.


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