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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Wine. Drugs. Overeating. I am guilty.

We all have various ways to cope with our grief, and sometimes that can lead to higher levels of drinking, pill popping, smoking, and eating too much.  I invite you to share your struggles and concerns regarding habits that have developed or increased due to your grief.

For those who are survivors of addiction and substance abuse or are part of 12 step programs and would like a more private conversation, visit these two newly created groups:

Survivors of Addiction and Substance Abuse

12 Steppers

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that alot of women are drinking several glasses of wine in the evening to handel the stress/bordom of having children most dont think its a problem but some it developes into one by society standards and all are exceeding the 1 a day standard

So you've survived the holidays and valentine's's everyone doing?  What are you doing/using to cope?

I don't drink.

I don't over eat.

I don't pill pop.

I play with my son all day, then I put him to bed, and smoke a fat joint.

then i think. and then over think. then feel guilty.

and then I do yoga for about an hour or 2.

I may write a bit.

I always come on here.

I get about 4-5 hours sleep.

and then I do it all over again.

id take a joint over a sleeping pill any day


& thats just it!!

I really wish I had gotten my late hubby medical marijuana to help calm him when he was ill.

I have always lead a sheltered, family, work,....I rarely drank.  The night my husband died his boss told me to go and get sh.t face drunk...didn't really know how to do that, so I drank 2 apple martini's and was out!!!!  I have started drinking red wine- 1-2 glasses, 2-3 times a week.  Usually at dinner.     My main problem is overeating.  I have always had a weight problem, so eating to much is my forte.  I have gained 10 lbs since my husband died 2.5 months ago.  Now I feel grief, depression and mad at myself for gaining weight.  I realize it is only hurting me, but damn it, sometimes a twinky is the only real enjoyment in my life right now!!!!

Dobster - I overeat too.  If it helps, I joined and there is actually a young widow/widower group there for people who want to lose weight and are grieving.  My motivation comes in waves.

Since I'm prone to overeating, I just have to force myself not to buy certain things. If it's in the house, I'll eat the whole bag or carton! But instead of eating, I started watching too much TV-- every spare minute--so I recently switched my satellite to the basic stations. Saves money & now I don't stay up til 3 a.m. watching mindless stuff.

I suspect my next self-medication will probably be too much time on the Internet!!

LOL, that part I do/have done too! 

I do the same with foods - I don't buy it cause I will eat it all.  I'm trying to schedule time with myself to cook meals too.

That's what I've been trying too! Seems to work because I feel like I'm productive and it keeps my mind away from negative tracks. Best of all, it's really nice after a long day when I can warm up good healthy home-cooked food instead of processed or fast food. I can also do things like bring soup to sick friends or sweets to others. Have fun.

It is definitely nice to have homecooked meals after eating crap for so long :)


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