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Their "stuff" - trash or treasure? What did you do with it?
Did your loved one leave you anything silly, ugly, ridiculous, or embarrassing?
Have you had a hard time letting go of "things" -- or were there items you could just not WAIT to toss?
Was there a special object or set of things that seem to be part of him or her?
Were you surprised by other's reactions? (I am always disappointed that no one cares to keep his pencil case, his chair, or his books except me, and I am getting less and less attached to those things with each passing year).
Did every special thing your loved one touched have to be sent to a particular loving home?
(Did you have to hire a dumpster?)
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lisa (lost) Lamb on
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I am having a very hard time giving up anything. I gave the boys two things each and still have everything else right where my husband put it. I don't know when if ever I will be able to give up his things. KC did a lot of wood working and I run my hands down the furniture as I walk by knowing his hands had done the same. I know I'm a little on the crazy side but even if I wanted to I couldn't change any of it. My husband also made many things for others and I would love to have them also. I just can't stand the thought of not knowing where these things are.
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Permalink Reply by Ashleigh on
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I did semi part with one shirt. I had it made into a daddy dress for our baby girl.
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Permalink Reply by KrisE on -
I have gotten rid of most of his clothes (donated them to Goodwill), I did keep some so that his older son can go thru them when he is ready. I keep a couple t-shirts for me to wear and with the other old t-shirts he used to wear I am having his Mom make a T-shirt quilt for each boy (3 total). I think they will really like them and feel close to their dad!
I don't think I have thrown too much away other than old paperwork of his!
I am only 7 weeks out and I surprised myself that I have done this already. I didn't have a hard time w/his clothes, but that is all I have done so far and plan on doing for a long time - no hurry on anything else.
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Permalink Reply by Braunie on -
Today I said goodbye to my husband's collection. I would have held onto it for a few years if I didn't have to move. There's no room for it as I have to drastically downsize. But it's sad because it was so much a part of what he loved doing. I remember going with him to places and buying them; or every time he'd order one, how excited he was when it arrived. He'd work on them in the garage, getting them exactly the way he wanted. I'm keeping one and gave some to a couple of friends and family that he loved but all the rest have to be sold. Sold one of his cars last month too for the same reason. It's like getting rid of pieces of him little by little. Stinks. Just my rant for today. So glad I have somewhere to get this outta my system! :-)
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Permalink Reply by going to make it on -
{{{HUGS}}}
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Permalink Reply by Dianne in Nevada on -
It's been 16 months and I've not gotten rid of anything. Well, yes, I did toss his toothbrush one morning. But his clothes are still in the closet, his Ohio State memorabilia is still on display, the wheelchair van is still sitting in the driveway, the medical-related stuff is still in a corner of our bedroom, and I even still have bags of his old meds stored in a drawer. I guess I am really stuck. I've written about this here previously - saying I know I need to get rid of these things and I'm ready ... but then I don't do it. In my head I know it is time, but I just have not been able to actually do these things.
I'm efficient and productive and focused at work, but I just can't get things together at home. I'm trying to focus on the fact that there are others who need that wheelchair van and it's shameful for me to be holding onto it. I'm giving myself yet another deadline (Presidents' Day holiday weekend) - and yes, there will be a dumpster sitting out front. This time I will do it!
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Permalink Reply by bad ass widow on -
You WILL do it Dianne. But I am with you on the I just dont do it. I can write lists of things I need to do, yet for some reason my ass is still attached to the couch.
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Permalink Reply by MissHIm11 on -
Dianne I know you will be able to get it done!!! I still have yet to do anything here. I am hoping to do it soon.
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Permalink Reply by going to make it on
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In your own time. {{{HUGS}}}
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Permalink Reply by maddogdolly on -
Hi Dianne, how goes the purging project? Just happened to see your post, and since -well, this is Presidents' Day weekend, thought I'd pop in and say hi. It's okay if it didn't happen. I'm in the same boat. You're not alone!! It will happen in time. It will happen in time. This is my new mantra :) I wish I lived closer (I'm in VA), I would offer to help you, or at a minimum, lend moral support! Best wishes to you ~Dolly
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Permalink Reply by Dianne in Nevada on
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O.M.G. I knew I was bad about not throwing things away but I am absolutely amazed at what I have been finding. We've lived in this house for 29 years, so perhaps you can picture it. Not quite like those hoarder shows ... my stuff is in boxes nicely stacked ... but I think I was well on my way to being featured on TLC.
And just when I thought I had gotten through all of the medical-related stuff, I went out to our little garden shed to put away some Christmas stuff I found ... and there was more medical stuff in there. Wound vac supplies, another walker, rails to the hospital bed, IV poles, boxes of those stinkin' pink things we got every time he went into the hospital, back braces, that turtle shell he had to wear after the first surgery, the contraption he had to wear on his feet when he was bedridden. Oh boy - the unexpected memories and tears once again.
I appreciate your comments that this will all happen in time - and I do believe that now. I'm embarrassed and I surely don't want my friends to have to come in here and see this mess if something should happen to me. That thought alone will help me attack these boxes every single day until it's all done. But today ... I'm just about done physically and emotionally.
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Permalink Reply by bad ass widow on
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I had not ONE but TWO dumpsters! My husband liked to save things he was going to fix. I believe I tossed 5 vacume cleaners, 2 lawn mowers, 2 answering machines and a record player. He also did not have the greatest taste in things so out went the black and white furry striped couch and the 2 matching chairs. (These were from his first marriage 30 years ago).
I also tossed about 200 video tapes. He had taped just about everything when cable came out. Most of his clothes I gave away, except for a box of t-shirts that will be made into a quilt one of these days. The albums we saved and tacked to the walls of the basement as part of the 50's theme we did.
The other things I have saved have no real rhyme or reason. The deer skull with antlers is still on my wall, it makes for a great key rack. His miniature gas pump collection, his beer steins and his deoderant I still have.
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