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Their "stuff" - trash or treasure? What did you do with it?
Did your loved one leave you anything silly, ugly, ridiculous, or embarrassing?
Have you had a hard time letting go of "things" -- or were there items you could just not WAIT to toss?
Was there a special object or set of things that seem to be part of him or her?
Were you surprised by other's reactions? (I am always disappointed that no one cares to keep his pencil case, his chair, or his books except me, and I am getting less and less attached to those things with each passing year).
Did every special thing your loved one touched have to be sent to a particular loving home?
(Did you have to hire a dumpster?)
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by going to make it on -
My husband was a minister as well! {{{hugs}}}
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Permalink Reply by Wincy'sMom on -
What is it about the medications? The night the kids and I came home from the hospital, I couldn't wait to throw those prescriptions away! They were a symbol of failure for me.
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Permalink Reply by Blue Snow on -
I felt the same way about the medications but it took me a week to track down the safest way (for the environment) to get rid of them. As it turned out our local police department has a collection box for medication. They are trying to prevent them from getting into the hands of kids who might sell them on the streets and they take care of them safely.
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Permalink Reply by TheWidowB on -
Yes, the meds went out first thing! I did not want to be tempted to be destructive to myself with the narcotics (my Dad had committed suicide five weeks earlier) and I sure didn't want them laying around for a break in! Our drug store took the whole bag full in to be destroyed. Man, the street value of that stuff --- wicked thought there :-)
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Permalink Reply by carolynne on -
I got rid of his powerpoint notes from his classes...nothing he actually wrote himself. I took most of his clothes (except the shirts I made into a quilt, and some shirts, loungepants and his socks - all things I love to sleep in) down to the garage, did not get rid of any though. Oh, I did finally toss out his toothbrush about a month ago. I figure he's not going to come back asking for it, and that's one thing of his I won't use ; ) His boots are still by the front door, his wallet is still on the nightstand. It's been 7 months.
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Permalink Reply by Wincy'sMom on
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It's funny about the toothbrush, I still have my husband's.
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Permalink Reply by Wincy'sMom on
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It's been a little over a year for me and the only thing I've gone through were my husband's books. I gave some to his Mom, some to friends and kept some. I still have all of his clothes, they're hanging in the closet and sitting in the drawers. Not sure when I'll do anything with them. There was a print of his entire palm on the mirror, way up high, in my bathroom, but my helpful mother cleaned for me while I was out of town and it's gone now, I didn't tell her, she would be crushed. I keep his wedding ring on my finger, his service weapon in my nightstand and sitting on my nightstand is one of the bullets fired at his service, along with his badge and two ceramic puppies he made one Valentine's day because we were too broke to buy gifts. I've enjoyed throwing some things in the garage away, but I can't bear the idea of going through his tools. I was surprised when my mother-in-law asked for his books, but she wanted something of his too. I've got a long way to go, my house is a disaster, but I'm not sure where to start and don't want to until it feels right.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa (lost) Lamb on
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I'm with you MrsLBSmith, I'm going on 9 months and I still have everything except a few things I gave to our son's and his mother. I also gave a few drawings my husband did of people to them. I thought they would really like them and I would just keep them in a file, they hung them on the wall. I have KC's toothbrush still also and everything else is right where he left it. I'm in no hurry to move or get rid of his things. So when I'm ready I'm sure I will feel it's time until then I'm good just how it is. One thing I have found is I can give things to family and that's ok, but I can't stand the thought of someone I don't know having his things but not sure why. It's funny how the mind works!
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Permalink Reply by Ashleigh on
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I lost my husband on Christmas day to lung cancer. We have the sweetest baby girl who is almost
16 months old. I can't get rid of anything that was his. I won't wash clothes that he wore
Because it would take his smell from them. I wear his cologne. He meds are in the gun safe to
Ensure our little one can not get ahold of them because there are pain meds and heart meds.
A beer he bought still sits in the fridge. I find it hard to cook. Because we use to do that together
I even had them give me the pocket square from his suit that I took to the funeral home. Eventually
I will have quilts made from t shirts and dress shirts. Right now I can't bear to think about even
That. I took his wedding ring off and put it on under mine. I just need his stuff. It's like as long as I have it
He is still surrounding me. May be nutty but right now it makes me feel better.
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Permalink Reply by carolynne on
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Ashleigh, that isn't nutty at all. Still so new for you : ( Being close to Rod's things makes me feel better, too. I've been able to move some things down to the garage, but I still sleep in his t-shirts and lounge pants every night, still wear his ring on a chain around my neck at all times. It's all in your own time, when you're ready. And if you're NEVER ready, that's okay too. Just be gentle with yourself, take care of you and that sweet baby girl, and get through each day the best you can. Holding you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Permalink Reply by going to make it on
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Isn't nutty at all! I wore my 2nd husband's ring on a chain around my neck for a year and then only took it off because people kept saying something about it. My 1st husband's last beer still sits in the fridge over 4 years later and it will probably be there when I either finally sell or the good Lord takes me home.
{{{HUGS}}} Do things in your own time and when you are ready! Don't let anyone pressure you one way or the other!
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Permalink Reply by jimswife33 (Michelle) on -
I dont think its nutty, but I may be nutty too. But if it makes you feel better, Im all for it. My husband passed away on 12/29/11 from lung cancer. I cant get rid of anything either. If I had to answer right now, I would say that I never will, but I guess only time will tell. I have not washed anything of his and sleep with his a couple of his shirts because they smell like him. I am wearing his wedding ring over mine and sometimes I put it on my right hand too. I have thought about putting it on a chain, but I like wearing it on my hand. All his stuff is on his night stand and in the bathroom right where he left it. There are still christmas presents in boxes on my bedroom floor. I agree about having his stuff is like having him surrounding me.
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