It's been 9 months since my husband suddenly passed away. I was 33 at the time and we have a 2 year old little girl. We just moved to FL and bought our 'forever' home. We had only been here for 1 year before he passed. We were not prepared at all for his passing, I don't have any life insurance to fall back on, I had to go back to work full time because I was a stay at home mom. My sister who was recently divorced moved in with me so that is super helpful with paying the mortgage but it's not a long term fix. She will eventually move out and walk her own path. I know everyone's situation is different, but what have you done with your home? Did you stay or go? There are some days when my brain and my heart align and I know the financially right thing to do is sell our home. It's a very large house that we planned to have more children in and the utilities and maintenance is a lot for me to handle alone. Now I feel like its a house (definitely not a home since it stopped being that when he passed) of broken dreams. I love that I am reminded of him here but I also hate it because he passed away here and on my bad days certain things trigger my PTSD. I'm anxious to make a decision that I can't take back and am so torn as for what the right move will be.
Hi Dan, I too am staying put for now... well, it's been 5 years since my DH passed. He was very ill with cancer for a long time. Towards the end (I didn't think he was going to pass that soon....) He said to me..."Sell everything and get a little beach house..." I didn't know what to say... I just looked at him....
So, 5 months after he died we had a huge hurricane, Sandy here near the New Jersey Shore. Many beach houses were in ruins. #1 I was so so glad that I hadn't bought a beach house right away... It could have been demolished and swept away. And my house was untouched by the high winds, though we did lose 5 trees, at least no flooding or roof damage, thank Goodness! But it got me to thinking that maybe I could have bought a property rather inexpensively and remodeled it. However, as much as I would love a beach house, I hesitate to put "all my eggs in that basket..." especially with the possibility of more severe weather with global warming.
So, for now I'm here in our home that we have owned for 30 years. Its rather large and a lot of property. But our dog has plenty of room to run. (I couldn't possibly uproot her, she's so happy here.) Also my older daughter lives with me, so there is plenty of room for us both. And my married daughter and her husband love to visit. It's the perfect house for parties, (which is getting to be a negative... lol...) but all in all I'm happy here. I think you will know when and if you are ready to make a change. For now, enjoy your home, the comfort and the memories.
Hi, I am 33 years old and I have a 2 year old as well. My husband passed in December. I am staying in our house. We moved in 6 years ago and had our first child a year later. I used to feel bad energy in my daughter's room. It was silly, but I didn't like being in there late at night when she would wake up. I don't feel that anymore, it just feels good everywhere in my house now. I did change some things around, I made our dining room in to a play room and got all new bedding. I put up pictures I had at his memorial all through the house. I like to see him, though it makes me sad and my kids will sit and just look at pictures of him from time to time.
When he first passed I was offended by how many people asked me if I could still afford the house or if I would be okay financially. I felt like it was none of their business, though it was a concern of mine. It was my business and not theirs! I actually got really lucky and got a better position at work and now I can afford the house. I know it is a hard decision and I am glad you have a year to think about it and get comfortable. My mom moved in with me as well and I told her I had to know how long she would be there. I had to know if she was going to leave me too. She is going to stay as long as I want. It is nice to have another adult there, it is comforting.
Good luck with everything have to do with the house and your baby. Just yesterday my 2 year old told me she talked to her dad and he was at the hospital in heaven getting his armpits checked out. I started to correct her and she told me 'dont worry about it mom, it just what dad said.'
Thanks Orb101214, I'm so sorry for your loss as well, I don't know of anyone else my age that is going through the same thing. I'm taking my time to make up my mind but I think that in the end I would like to have a fresh start somewhere else. I love and resent being here it's tough, I rarely go into the room he passed away in even though I sold all of the furniture in there. It's funny you say your 2 year old talks to daddy my now 3 year old says that she sees him all of the time, I tell her to tell him that I love him and I miss him. I like to believe that they do see them.