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I think all of you have encountered something similar to an event I experienced last night.

It's been almost 13 months since my wife died. Last night I was at a convenience/drug store. When making my purchase I was asked for my phone number for "rewards" (which is in itself annoying but that's not my point). I asked if we could make some changes because my address has changed along with my phone number. She entered the information she had and up came my wife's name, her e-mail address, and old cell number. Out if the blue I almost started crying right there. I hate it when unexpected memories, benign as they may seem, out of nowhere occur. Just seeing her name, her old email address, triggered memories that hit me, particularly around the holiday. 

It is what it is.

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Thanks, Callie2!  I know chances are everything will run more or less on time but I'm an expert on what can go wrong from personal experience and I am SO good at finding things to worry about!

Yes, that ordeal in the mall would have left me near tears, too.  There was one good result from the craziness with the lost keys:  I'd given up long-distance bike rides (other than organized group ones), knowing that I can't call Ron if I get a flat and ask him to come get me and bring the bike rack.  If I keep a lock with me, though, I can lock the bike someplace safe if I get a flat, call Uber to get home, then go back out and rescue the bike.  (The two drivers I had Saturday actually had vans that might have accommodated a bike, too.)   Desperation led me to finally try Uber!  Baby steps sometimes.


   This has noth9ing to do with this post subject... Sorry... But I need to know what you think of Uber. ( In case I need it someday)  Do you think it's safe?



Susan, I'd say it's probably safer than many taxi services- the driver's rating is displayed when you get acknowledgement that he/she is on his/her way.  Both drivers were nice- the guy who took me home offered to wait till I found my spare key.  I'm glad I sent him home- he would have had a long wait!

Thank You for the information :-)


Your welcome.  Just an update:  all the stuff I worried about didn't happen.  I'm sure it's because I worried about it so much!

Made it to London on schedule; my flight to Delhi is tomorrow.

Told you so..told you so.. Lol. Have fun!

I had one today, cooking rice of all things. I was looking for some bouillon or something for flavor. I remembered having some little envelopes to make a cup of chicken broth. Then I remembered I got rid of them. Then I remembered why.

In the cancer center where Frank got treated, the main floor was for chemo. The floor below was for radiation. They had a little kitchen area there with snacks and drinks for patients and families. Frank liked the hot broth and so we took some of the little packets home. Memories of a very sad time. Even though he had lymphoma, which is diffuse, they tried radiation to shrink some of the larger lumps. I think the doctors were clutching at straws at that point. After the cancer came back, there wasn't anything they could really do.

I know he does not want me to dwell on those sad times, but sometimes I can't help it.

Of course you can’t help it. We will always have memories of both the good and bad. I think it is harder for those who have lost their spouses/partners after a lengthy illness. My husband died suddenly and that comes with its own set of problems but I don’t have memories like you describe of him being so ill and undergoing all those treatments. Wishing for you more of the pleasant memories!

I believe our triggers stem from our calexis/bond with our spouse - loss of marriage - memories still alive ...

My memories were of the funeral director calling me to say the wax used to pack the missing top & back of Bob's head kept melting - could they cut the pillow to lower his head in the casket. The years of court dates to listen over & over & how the car collision was Bob's fault even though 5 victims/witnesses testified it was the roadrage driver who caused it. Its almost 11 years since his death - I just had another court appearance last week ...

You might want to google techniques to lower your stress ...

Blessings ...

Yes, I understand. I cried when I went in and paid the mortgage off on our house. Bawled, in fact. I'm sure they thought I was nuts, but I wanted him back rather than a paid off house. Crying hits me as well at the most unusual times. And I'm not a cryer at all. I'm planning to attend my first grief group tonight and am scared.


    I hope the Grief Support helps you.  It's been about 2 years for me, and I still cry sometimes. It's usualy triggered by music.



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