I don't know how to approach this subject, so I will just throw it out there. When my Husband died 41 days ago, my oldest Daughter asked if she could have something of her step-father's. I said yes, when I feel like I can go through his things I will let you have something. She said she wanted something of value, like his truck or something worth something. I was taken aback. She is 34 years old and has always been a little self centered, but this was going too far. I told her no. She is no long speaking to me, only when she picks up my Grandson from my home as I pick him up from school. I am very hurt as she hasn't called me since that day to see how I was doing. I know she has her own life but she has been so disrespectful. Has anyone experienced anything like this??? I am feeling very hurt!!
I'm so sorry that on top of everything else you also have to deal with the selfishness of another. My daughter never asked for anything but I take care of her more then anyone has ever taken care of me. She is 32 and I swear her whole generation are very self centered. I hope you two will be able to work something out one day, until then be true to your heart and you can't go wrong. Lisa
Holy Bejeebies! No words.. you definitely did the right thing saying "no..." ... When my darling husband was still with us, and quite ill, his whacky nephew/godson asked for his Rolex... Really? Wayne just looked at him and laughed. Right on, sweetheart!! The nerve!!! Later, after Wayne died, nephew #2 actually asked for the watch... REally? My daughter, (his cousin) said, "hell no!" That's Mommy's watch now!!! LOL! I'm laughing thinking about it. Do these @[email protected]#&$ have any manners? Oh wait... NO!!
I understand your pain. I offered my stepdaughters the opportunity to come to my home and choose a few things that were their dad's. One was wonderful; the other, the "princess" literally tried to shop in my home, and asked for various things. She also wanted to know what would happen with my husband's car and my house!!!! OH- and she loves to tell everyone what a Christian she is!! Unbelievable selfishness and no regard for her dad, who loved her dearly.
I think these times show what people are really made of. I eventually told her (quite emphatically) that everything was mine; I did give her quite a few things. Now, a year later, she is in town and wants to see me. On Christmas Day , she apologized for "any hurt" she had caused. I will see this weekend just how sorry she is. My best advice is to avoid this type of person. You have enough to deal with without having to put up with your daughter's feelings of entitlement and greed.
As Ben Franklin once said, to know the true character of a person, inherit with them. I worked with a lady whose hubby bought a new RV about six months before he died. One son flew down for the funeral and told his mom he would take the RV because she would not have a use for it. The lady told him she was going to sell it, and he got so upset he flew home and did not even stay do this dad's funeral.
My husband's son, who is just a bit younger than I am, kept asking me for money, just days before the funeral service! He and his wife and two kids came and stayed for two weeks, asking for things and money over and over again. Then they got upset because I was not a gracious enough hostess! The other son was great. go figure.
My (adult) children know what they will inherit, and they have yet to ask for anything of their dads' that I haven't given them or told them would be theirs, so I'm lucky in that. I have a vulture family member story from my own childhood that still hurts 50 years later, that I'd like to tell, if I may. When I was little my beloved nonna had an emerald-cut ruby ring. My grandparents certainly weren't rich people, but to me that ring could have belonged to a Queen, it was so special. Anytime I was at her house she let me wear the ring on my thumb and would tie a string around the ring and around my wrist so I wouldn't lose it. She always told me that I could have that ring some day and it was pretty much common knowledge in the family. When my nonna died before she was even laid out her only daughter, my aunt, raided her things, taking all of her jewelry, even without asking my grandfather. My ring went with her.
My aunt died about three months before my husband. We went to the funeral home. My poor husband was pretty fragile by that time. When we knelt down on the kneeler my ring was on my aunt's finger!! I nudged poor Ozzie, who practically flew off the end of the kneeler and through my teeth said "THERE'S MY RUBY RING!!" I'm sure her daughter now wears the ring my grandmother promised to me. I'm sure in the grand scheme of things that ring isn't worth a fortune, but to me it would be priceless. It might not be on my finger but it's in my heart. I will never understand why things can be so important to people when they belong to other people's hearts.