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I am moving in with my boyfriend this June....He calls me and text me all the time and is very loving towards me and always talks about all the wonderful things we are going to do when we are together. Plans are made all the way to December.

But today I went on the dating site where we met....He was on there! I called him and asked him why he was still actively  on the dating site..(.I went on to finally delete my account.) I asked him why he was on there and he said he was just chatting. I said," Do what you want but keep your pants on"....Was I crazy!!!!!!!  Why did I do that when I really felt like he was doing something behind my back??!!! 

We live 400+ miles away from each other, so I literally am packing up my whole life up to be with him.....I do trust him and know that he has a lot of female friends that were there way before I came in the picture. And he says I am the only one that he is has wanted to be with and wants me with him.

We have been with each others families and we have met a lot of each others friends but I just can't help but feel a little insecure about all of this.

Maybe it is because the time is getting closer and reality is finally sinking in. I am going down in May because we have a trip planned to NYC to celebrate his birthday and then I will return and finish packing my things, he will be coming up to help me with the final move.....

This has just depressed me a little, I know tomorrow is another day and I will probably feel better. I did go ahead and delete my account  and feel good about that. I do have some other conflicts going on here with family, like I can't make it to a family wedding in South Carolina because of my work..So maybe  that is bugging me as well.....

Any advice will be appreciated..Thank you for reading my post...................Courtney

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Ok , he is still on dating site to chat and you are moving to where he is with plans in action.. But you were on there also yet you deleted account.. You trust him?After this you trust him? Red flag here.. You say you feel insecure , this is gut feeling, give it more time or set it free.. If is worth having it can wait , but if he has to chat on date site with women,  he cant be that into you as you are into him.. Just my opinion.. He seems to not  know what he really wants .. Be Blessed...

ur right...time to re-evaluate 

After reading this post a couple times - I don't have a very good feeling about him. I'm sorry, but your intuition is trying to tell you something ....

he called tonight..It wasn't nice 

I agree with Norman. I'd put the reins on things fast here and listen to your gut. There's many other places to chat than a dating site. Dating sites aren't for chatting with friends, they're for dating. I feel badly saying it but don't want you to move your whole life to be with someone who's not committed to you.

I think he knows where I stand...Enough rope...He will hang himself


Let me put it this way, if for some odd reason I chose to date at all, I know what grief feels like, what it entails: temptation, frustration, desperation, impatience, loneliness, crazy making, repetition, etc, etc, etc. No matter the reason for making small-major decisions, every one of them stems from grief.

Write down the reason(s) you want for a companion. To fill a void? To make life "normal" -as it was before your husband died? To move forward? The only thing that will help is to be honest w/yourself. Can you cope w/more of these emotions -relationship issues during grief? Looking forward to something brings hope & excitement, but still -it does not heal grief. The void still lingers. We all have times when we don't recognize ourself much less trust the person we've become. We are constantly changing. With this in mind, you might outgrow him sooner than you think if you take care of your grief properly. When you do, you will find an intolerance that will not allow for bullshit from other people.

If you continue w/your plans, please have a back up plan in place including the money if another move needs to made quickly.

Take care of yourself ...

I agree with everyone here. There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex but a dating website is not the place to 'stay' in touch with them.
Take care of yourself and really think it through before you move. And like they said, have a backup plan.
Be careful.

Thank you for all the replies...A lot to think about! And I will....I think majority rules here....

Just plain and simple: Don't make a mistake here. You're making a huge sacrifice and he's still chatting on a dating site. Leave this guy alone. He's looking for something else or he would have been off that site long ago.


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