Today I went out to lunch with a friend (not a widow) and told her all my widowed friends (that I met at Grief Groups) have taken their wedding rings off. I'm still wearing mine. Actually have mine as his wedding band welded together (went to jeweler) and still wear them... now this is 4+ years after my husband's death and I still wear our wedding rings on my "wedding finger" --- and my friend said something I just wanted to share, as I never thought of it this way. She said;
"If you lose your parents, they are still your parents. You lose a child, they are still are your child. You lose your husband, he's still your husband."
So why take off your wedding band?
My husband has been gone for 2 years now. I wear his ring on a necklace, and my ring when I go out which is how I've always worn it -- I don't really like wearing rings.
I actually stopped wearing it after the first year, again because I don't care for jewelry on my fingers. But men that come into my workplace started flirting which made me uncomfortable. Honestly, this is the main reason I wear it. I still feel married and don't want to be perceived as single.
I thought about this some more (after watching a video on how to remove stubborn rings) and decided not to try. The way I see it, if anyone is going to be attracted to me, they will get to know me first. I am not that good-looking but have a good personality. So they can ask a mutual friend if I am married or not. In the meanwhile, my ring can act as a "no pest strip" to keep off the guys that are looking for anyone female who is standing upright and breathing in and out.
Vintage Barb, I love your attitude! BTW, I had trouble getting my ring off as I'd gained some weight and the jeweler sprayed Windex on it, and it slid right off... well with maybe a little tugging... But that does weirdly work.
Still wearing mine and his.... just had them resized, but I can't bear to remove them. My husband is still my husband in spirit...
Hi Dee1960 - I also still feel married and can't bear the thought of removing my ring, or his- which I took off his hand the day he died and placed on my middle finger next to my wedding band. They're actually two signet rings, one gold (his) and one platinum (mine). I plan to wear both for the rest of my life. I have no plans to make myself available by removing the rings. They are a symbol of so much, and are a part of me that I would not give up for another relationship. I'm with vintage56- if there is someone in the future, they'll have to know me first- (and accept the rings!). But honestly, right now (fifteen months out) the thought of someone else is nauseating. I might not always feel this way, but I sure do now. Hugs, GreenSofie
GreenSofie, that is so beautiful and the way I feel too. My husband and I had matching bands, though his was a bigger and broader than mine. He never EVER took it off, even though many medical procedures, refused to take it off and they would put tape over his wedding band. He died at home, and when they took his body away, they never asked (by "they": I mean the men in black) or said anything but after they left, I found his wedding band and watch on the nightstand next the bed.....
I have worn mine and his ever since, had them resized and welded together....
Weirdly his digital watch is still working... the died in 2015 and heck I've had to replace my watch battery three times since then... but his, I have next to his photograph and it keeps ticking and ticking....
My husband died May 3, 2019 and I wear his wedding band on top of my wedding band. It fits perfectly over my wedding ring and is comforting to me. There is no right or wrong just a personal preference.