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Hello everyone, I am hoping you could share your thoughts/ experiences with me on wedding rings.  I lost my second husband 10 months ago and I still choose to wear my rings every day.  I like the feeling and connection of wearing them.

Trouble is, I have recently relocated and am meeting a lot of new people.  People keep assuming I have a husband in the wings and always ask about him.  I then have to explain he has died, which results in them feeling bad over compensating with pity and everything getting awkward.  This has happened at social events, business meetings training courses and even waiters.

I have thought about moving my rings to the right hand, but have been told that is what divorced people do.  I also don’t want people to think I am single.

When I lost my first husband one day I simply took my rings off.  I don’t recall it being this difficult.

Any thoughts or suggestions?


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Replies to This Discussion

First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my husband a little over eleven months ago. It will be a year on the 29th of April. I have decided not to remove my wedding ring. I have worn the same ring for over 47 years and I have instructed my children to bury me with my ring on. That's me. One of my best friends removed her ring and wore it on a chain. Another friend removed her ring shortly after her husband passed. She was in her early thirties when he passed and despite her love for her husband I remember her telling us  several months after he passed that she hoped to remarry someday. (she did) As for me, I am 71 years old and even though I am very lonely I have no desire to remarry. You cant find a replacement for what I have had. When I look at my ring it makes me smile knowing that I was loved and appreciated by someone that I loved and appreciated.

Hi, My husband died suddenly on November 10, 2016.  He was taking a nap and when I went in the bedroom to wake him up, he was dead.  He was NEVER sick and I should have gone before him.  I have many health issues.  My only child, my daughter, died December 23, 2013, from alcool and drug abuse, which I did not know she was doing.  Her husband is totally incompetent to raise a child alone.  I have spent the last 6 years taking charge of all my grandson's needs.  He is 10, very big for his age, and has special needs.  My son-in-law has been unemployed for 8 months and were it not for a small home I gave my daughter years ago, he and my grandson would be homeless.  My husband and I had so many activities and friends, and now I am basically alone with my cat.  It is so difficiult going from a WE to a ME.  I will be 74 soon and see no hope of my life improving.

I wear a different band. My ring is on a chain with my husband's. Do whatever makes you feel best. If you don't want the questions just say you can't talk about it right now. Whatever helps you take care of you. 

A wedding ring represents love in your heart.  It's hard to let go.  I wore mine for a long time after my first wife walked out on me and a long time after my Anne past away.  I don't quite remember when I took them off or where I put them.  All I can say is wear them as long as you want, it's part of the healing pross.  One of these days I'm going to wake up, and I"m going to be OK, and I won't even know it happened.  But, until then, I'll wear the unseen pain of love like a wedding ring around my heart until I can take it off.  So, take your time, let time do its healing.  Turning  lose is sad, letting go is painful.  I know, it broke my heart.  If you can turn lose of the things of the past, that's a good thing.  It could possibly heal your heart,  I"m hoping it does.

It was a little more difficult for me the second loss as well. I stopped wearing my ring on my left hand, and started wearing it as a necklace, so people stopped asking. 

I took my off after about 6 months because like you people asked about my husband when I attend church and things alone.  That always made for uncomfortable and overly solemn situations.  So I still feel my connection to him by wearing both our rings together on a chain around my neck.    I don’t get anymore questions and I think maybe they understand what that symbolizes. 


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