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I am not a kid anymore I am 66.   The last time I dated was 45 years ago.  I am not sure that I want to date yet but am thinking maybe in the next year or so.

In the meantime I need a lot of help in HOW to date at my age. In the '60s as a late teen and in my early 20s I met most of those I dated at dances, I went on Friday and Saturday night around a country dance circuit.  Now if I meet men it is mainly as part of a couple and not as singles.

I don't want to go into online dating or go to a meet up I am not ready for that. But I would like to find someone to go to the movies etc with. 

Tell me your own experiences or where did you find that someone special?

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Hi Mac...your post is lovely...I am so glad to read that inspite of the pain and loss..you have taken one day at a time and tried everything...I have also...including dating...I am not right now and would like a break...I have learned to enjoy my privacy and aloness at times...I wish I could find a little more to so for fun and not alone but that I have two appt for this week ....to guide me into exactly what is somewhat close to me...at least within an hour ..to get involved in...I also really don't have much interest in living with someone or marrying again....but I learned to never say never...marriage no..living with someone maybe someday.....I enjoy men..always have gotten along so much better with them..maybe because my Dad spent more time raising me and teaching me then my mother ever did.....I am also peaceful and happy most of the time...and that's a good thing...I miss Bill...but after a very hard time for the past ..9 months since the 20th anniversary of my daughters death ...I am feeling lighter...everything that occurred in those 9 months was harder then it has been in years....through it all I learned a lot of me and others....glad I did....Peace and happiness to you..

Mac,
In returning to share, you have given back in providing hope to villagers ...
Hope is a vital sustenance similar to food, water & oxygen ...
Best wishes ...

Sue,
Does the man in question drive?
In the US, it is the civic duty of every citizen to prevent a person from driving drunk - it could include the staff of the events you attend. People can be arrested on drunk driving charges for knowingly permitting a person to drive intoxicated as well as held liable if a death or injury should occur.
My husband was killed in a car collision. I hired an investigator to find everyone that could be held liable to pay for mounting medical bills for my children - hospitals, psychiatrists, therapists, etc. It has depleted the life insurance money. I am still in civil court - days away from Bob's 11th anniversary ...

He walked home.

Oh, good!

Sue, maintain your standards ...

No walking dates or chaffeuring for you ...  :-)

Actually this incident reminded me how easy it is for a widow to be the subject of harrassment, not a victim unless you see yourself that way. Now it is  time for me to strategize to make sure it doesn't happen again. I was very shy as a teenager and I think that is still my default position. So I'm thinking about what I will say or do if this happens again. Best to be armed with some answers which will not offend but get the point across. Thank you for your suggestions.

If you didn't take the harrassment personally or hurt by it than it was merely an exercise in standing up for yourself in whatever manner you saw fit ...

Wow- there are definitely scam artists out there.

Yesterday I set up a profile on Match,com, encouraged by a memoir I'm reading by Joyce Maynard ("The Best of Us"), who met her soulmate 27 years after divorcing her first husband, only to lose him to pancreatic cancer 3 years after they married.  He was a high-powered attorney (has his own Wikipedia entry) and she met him on Match.com.  Did I mention he drove a Porsche boxster? Not that that's a criterion or anything, but I wouldn't mind sitting in one.

So- today I get a message from someone whose account is an upgraded version so even freebie subscribers like me can respond.  Ruggedly handsome, of course, but he's writing for a friend who saw my profile, loved my smile and wants me to be "his special date".  Unfortunately, the guy who sent the message is about to let his subscription lapse, but gave me his friend's name, phone number and e-mail address.

The "friend" is "in his 50s" (I'm 65), widowed, a "farmer/architect", 6'4", smart, funny, all that good stuff.  I can't find the friend on Switchboard.com, even though he's got a distinctive last name, and his area code is several states away.  He didn't get an account himself because he's "not into in-line dating".

Uh-huh.  I'm going to expose my e-mail address (and I do have a spamcatcher e-mail without my name in it) and my phone number rather than go through Match.com.  Yeah, right.  Does the "Widowed" status mean there's a target on your forehead?

It may be awhile before I get up the nerve to pay for a subscription so I can actually contact anyone. 

Yes, there are bad guys out there and they all are not men!

I did the online dating route and encountered a number of men. Some good; some fun; some where it was difficult to even stay for a 45-minute coffee time.   However, during the meeting and greeting time, my guard was always up. Safety first. Listen to your gut. Have a back-up plan. Be very, very careful. The effort was worth it for me because I finally found a wonderful, caring, delightful man who I've been with for three years now. Wish we had found each other sooner! 

barbee...I have had the same experience you have ...except I haven't been lucky enough to meet that wonderful companion yet...it's all OK..if I do great, it I never do it just isn't meant to be..I'm at peace...I have met a lot of men , also couldn't finish a cup of coffee with some...always met where I chose, in a crowd, daytime....after talking on the phone several times, knowing they're full name and address..this is classic of you will kiss a lot of frogs....and I think the most important is to try very hard not to look for you husband or compare to him....I know some do...I never did...he was one of a kind to me....not to say there aren't other great guys out there...

I don't want to kiss any FROGS!!  Coffee with them will be my limit.

I got another "please contact me outside Match.com, my subscription is about to lapse" message from another guy.  At least he was in a local area code.  I reported both of these; Match makes that very easy. 

There some that look promising; I find that looking at pictures tells a lot (e-Harmony wouldn't let me see pictures without paying).  What they wear (a shirt with a sports team logo in every shot, when I have little interest in team sports, for example), their surroundings (not into motorcycle guys and there seem to be a lot in my area), whether they choose a variety or post only a badly-lit selfie or none at all, etc.  And yes, I look for the possibility of sexual chemistry if I got to know him well enough.   

Still not ready for a paid membership!  Will keep you posted.

LOL Athena...neither do I ...so I don't ....I have been very kind and upfront with making my exit....

They are definitely scammers....most from Ghana, Nigeria, Russia, some from Canada....I looked into it because the first man I met on Senior People was one..so Iearned how to spot them....the way they write and what they write, is very obvious.....getting off the site quickly , offering their e-mail and phone number...they know someone will report them....they're all over....I did give my e-mail a couple of times...Yahoo has a site, sorry can't think of it's name...that teaches you how to track an e-mail header ...so that if you ever ended up talking off a site...you can check their location.....and sadly at times they come up ..in a foreign county....I won't pay either....I'm not sure how you were able to correspond in any way on Match....I always had to pay , which I never did , to answer anyone....

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