Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I am not a kid anymore I am 66.   The last time I dated was 45 years ago.  I am not sure that I want to date yet but am thinking maybe in the next year or so.

In the meantime I need a lot of help in HOW to date at my age. In the '60s as a late teen and in my early 20s I met most of those I dated at dances, I went on Friday and Saturday night around a country dance circuit.  Now if I meet men it is mainly as part of a couple and not as singles.

I don't want to go into online dating or go to a meet up I am not ready for that. But I would like to find someone to go to the movies etc with. 

Tell me your own experiences or where did you find that someone special?

Views: 46633

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Dear Sue,

I was in the same boat! I was very fortunate to find a lady who had also been widowed who lived 40 miles from me. We agreed to meet for lunch half way. Driving over, I felt like a 15 year old again LOL. We chatted for a few hours, and when we I walked her to her car, I said, I would like to see you again. She agreed, and we met for lunch many times after.

Had a strange moment last night.  I went out to dinner with friends (from my school days!) and there was another friend out on what seemed to be a date.  His lady friend was about my age but so different, blonde, well made up, smartly dressed and so...kittenish.  You know that chin tucked in flapping the eyelashes look? I watched them for a while, just hope they did not notice me doing it!

If I want to date I want to do it as ME, the way I am, the way I feel, the way I will always be.  I don't want to do it in false eyelashes and try to look 40 at 60.  Oh dear I do feel as if I judged the poor woman and shouldn't have but if that is what I have to do to date again - no thanks.

Wonder if I can ever find someone again who will love me the way I am?

That's ridiculous... you don't need to do that! I am 62 now ! Wdowed at 58 .. met a nice man on Zoosk who took me to dinner for my 60th because I was "alone".. .. in another month will be engaged.. you know, he's chubby, not in great shape and I'm not perfect but we make each other laugh and smile.. he's even seen me in the morning! Get over it.  Do a meet up or dating site. I don't believe anyone should be alone unless they are happier that way.

Hi Grace28&Slick,
This does seem like an old link, I would love this discussion to begin again. What is Zoosk? Never heard of it. Ty

Only1Sue, do what your heart tells you is right.  That is my only guide these days.  If you are your true self, then if there is another man out there for you, you will find one another.  I believe that, I hope you do, too.  Blessings and good karma to you today, and always. Peace out. 

Wow, that's exactly how I'm feeling. I don't want to "need" a man, but I have been in a relationship  practically my whole life. Married 2x, my spouse just died last year. I am cleaning out my place, having an auction, but I would really like to have a good "friend"!

Sheryls, this is the first page, the current page is page 45. Thank you for the comment.

Hi Sheryl,

    I went from my parents house to getting married... So I always had SOMEONE to take care of me.  I was married for 38 years when Paul passed away. ... I don't want to NEED a man... But I would love to have a friend. ... It kind of hurts to NEED someone. ... Does that make sense to you? 

Susan

Susan, I relate to what you said! I went from my parents' house to my husband's. I always had someone there to care for me and be with. We were together 32 years. Having a friend would be nice. I feel the same as you do, exactly. Thanks for putting that out there!  I am in the same boat as you!!

I wish you much luck in finding a good friend. :-) 

My roses  29th November 2013

I found this book which talks about  dating again and there is a lot information and articles about how womenover 50 are dating, having sexual relationships - even those in their  seventies.  One book re dating and couples who are happy in their relationship is:

The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship Hardcover . Author is Chrisanna Northrup   Visit Amazon website to read more.

The info about older women is from a new book written by  Gail Sheehy who wrote the book Passages.  Go to  the seasoned womens network website for more info.  But it does seem that  there is a considerable rise in women who are finding partners/marriage again into quite late age.  So there is hope for those who wish to start dating.

Gail Sheehy also has another website - so just do a search with her name.

Another finding has been that those who have romantic love seem to have  lasting marriages.

It is good to look at some of this, as it shows there is a possibility of happiness again.

My Roses   29th November   Some thoughts to ponder on....

Gail Sheehy - author asks this  question? 

What is a seasoned woman?

We belong to a new universe of lusty, liberated women who are not willing to settle for the old stereotypical roles of middle age. And we don't have to!

A seasoned woman is spicy. She has been marinated in life experience. She is at the peak of her influence and power. She is committed to living fully and passionately in the second half of life, despite failures and false starts.

How old is a seasoned woman?

As Vera told Auntie Mame, "Somewhere between 45 and death." Older is bolder - a seasoned woman is more activist, more managerial and political.

How Is a seasoned woman different from her mother?

She is passionate about her work, or a cause, or in pursuit of a new dream or spiritual quest. She is more likely than at any previous stage to report reaching some fulfilling goal or dream. She is very likely to be single, to have initiated her divorce, and to enjoy a lot of sexual activity. She is comfortable with herself and not necessarily looking for remarriage.

If married, she is very likely soaring after empty nest, cultivating a new and independent identity, following her passion, and enjoying revitalized sex with her husband or  a romantic love in a midlife remarriage.

RSS

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service