I am not a kid anymore I am 66. The last time I dated was 45 years ago. I am not sure that I want to date yet but am thinking maybe in the next year or so.
In the meantime I need a lot of help in HOW to date at my age. In the '60s as a late teen and in my early 20s I met most of those I dated at dances, I went on Friday and Saturday night around a country dance circuit. Now if I meet men it is mainly as part of a couple and not as singles.
I don't want to go into online dating or go to a meet up I am not ready for that. But I would like to find someone to go to the movies etc with.
Tell me your own experiences or where did you find that someone special?
A couple of days ago I decided to resubscribe to Match. What I forgot is you have to pay to respond to the messages and likes you get. So I quickly deleted. It kind of freaks me out that you have to pay for this. But I think most of all it just shows me I am not quite ready to become involved with anyone. My days are full with either events and friends or nice alone time with my weaving and spinning. I feel I am just getting into this retirement rhythm.
Does it disturb anyone else that you have to pay for this kind of thing?
Not at all! It's a business not a volunteer run website. There is a lot of work done to keep one of these sites going. I joined one I think the third year out? It was not for me. I did correspond for sometime with I think it was three or four men with which I had a lot in common but they were long distance...I came to realize I had zero interest in compromise or sacrifice in any new relationship and as a senior it would have been both on my part. I thought the fee was fair for the time I belonged. It, like any business is there to make money. I think someone told me there are "free" dating websites but I never checked them out. Just not my cup of tea. For many it turns out good. and for them that's dandy. I think Susan if you think again you will see the safety factor n paying for site. Security and anonymity being two-
Yep, these are all for-profit businesses, even the holier-than-thou eHarmony. I would not overstate the safety factor on these sites, though. They are full of disclaimers and they are not staffed to verify everyone who signs up. All of them are rife with scammers who prey on lonely people. The sites have zero liability for this. Some sites screen for registered sex offenders, but while that may protect you from predators within the US, it will not protect you from scammers operating overseas.
There is a lot of information online accessible by a simple Google search about the limits of dating site liability, how to recognize a scammer, and so on. It's important to remember that these are for-profit businesses. They are not "services." If people find each other for lasting relationships through these sites, that's all well and good, but their primary focus, as with all businesses, is profit.
I'm not saying that no one should ever use a dating site, just that it's important to keep your wits about you.
A paid site is marginally more likely than a free site to attract a better quality of people, but these fees do not deter scammers. A few hundred dollars a year to join a dating site is nothing compared to the hundreds of thousands of dollars to be had from people they can lure into their nets.
I meet people in person by joining activities that interest me. I think meeting people online can be dangerous. Some people might have good experiences but I have read about people being taken advantage of. A lot of widowed people are lonely and the scam artists out there know this. Meeting people in person and in activities you enjoy eliminate a lot of risk.. I travel solo and meet many people, and I am very careful about any information about myself. Bob was a very careful man and I never thought about being ultra careful, but since losing him I learned to guard my privacy.
i have never understood why some people expect products or services “for free”, from strangers. People who contact you by phone or email are trying to make a living, they are not giving away anything. I have caller ID and I do not talk to strangers. Peace to all.
I appreciate everyone's words and can begin to accept the fact that you pay for the responses. I will also say it still freaks me out! so obviously I am not ready to go online.
I think I am happy to pay. For some reason, I assume that scammers etc would pick a site that they don't have to pay for...maybe I am wrong. I would be hoping that it would be a case of ...you get what you pay for...Haven't ventured onto one yet. Realized that after six years, I am pretty set in my ways. But...sure would be nice to have a man to go to dinner with, a movie etc. I do those things now, with good women friends, but I think you get what I mean.
Susan, at the moment I am not looking to go out with strangers so I guess a dating site is not for me. I did go out with the man I used to go out to dinner with occasionally but today it was lunch which suits me better. It was nice but I have realised that things have changed from my perspective now since the last operation. For now I don't want to put any effort into building a new relationship. Maybe I will change my mind later but for now I am better off on my own.
The man I sometimes go out with is in hospital, I will go in and see him once, I won't go in and see him multiple times. It has not been that kind of relationship, it has to be a friendship, nothing more according to him, so one visit for friendship sake. Of course putting limits on a friendship has it's own limitations.
I would not go to make a hospital visit immediately...send or drop off get well wishes or sm. bouquet of flowers for staff to give him... sounds a bit pushy visiting someone who has made it clear you and he are merely friends and will never be more.
If he is hospitalized for weeks or goes into hospice or long term care make your one visit at that time. You can pray for him as much as your heart moves you however. Just my suggestion as one who reads all your posts. Hugs lj
@only1sue: Are you actual friends, or are you "in the friend zone"? The former means you step up to the plate for each other in times of need, and the latter is "I'm not really attracted to you but I don't want to hurt your feelings." If the former, go see him. If the latter, send flowers or a note.
Sue...I'm assuming this is the man you at one time had dinner with several times w/o mutual friends from the club you both are a part of not knowing about it and then his invites for dinner stopped...? You sure don't want a repeat of the last friend you lost whose family did not have facts correct...
Suggestions here have been to possibly bring flowers to your hospitalized friend. Be sure that is OK before you do it. Some hospitals no longer allow them, especially in Intensive care units or if there are breathing issues or allergies. Fragrances can cause problems. Artificial flowers or a plant (like sedums) that does not smell would be OK.
I once worked in nursing homes and sometimes after a funeral kind people would bring many bouquets for us to hand out to patients. It created an extra chore for the nurses and aides, especially if the bouquets looked like funeral arrangements. We would try to remake the arrangement and put it (or them) in the offices, reception areas, other places with public access. Even then, believe it or not, some patients with dementia tried to eat the flowers!
It's one of those cases of "can't win for losing". So ASK ahead of time just to be certain.