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I am not a kid anymore I am 66.   The last time I dated was 45 years ago.  I am not sure that I want to date yet but am thinking maybe in the next year or so.

In the meantime I need a lot of help in HOW to date at my age. In the '60s as a late teen and in my early 20s I met most of those I dated at dances, I went on Friday and Saturday night around a country dance circuit.  Now if I meet men it is mainly as part of a couple and not as singles.

I don't want to go into online dating or go to a meet up I am not ready for that. But I would like to find someone to go to the movies etc with. 

Tell me your own experiences or where did you find that someone special?

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I would  not  go to  make  a hospital visit  immediately...send  or  drop  off  get  well wishes or  sm.  bouquet of  flowers  for  staff  to give  him...   sounds  a  bit  pushy  visiting  someone  who  has  made  it  clear  you and  he   are  merely  friends  and will never  be  more.

    If he is  hospitalized  for weeks  or  goes  into  hospice  or  long  term  care make  your  one  visit  at that  time.   You  can  pray  for  him  as  much  as  your  heart  moves  you however.  Just  my  suggestion  as  one  who  reads  all  your  posts.   Hugs   lj

@only1sue:  Are you actual friends, or are you "in the friend zone"?  The former means you step up to the plate for each other in times of need, and the latter is "I'm not really attracted to you but I don't want to hurt your feelings." If the former, go see him.  If the latter, send flowers or a note.

Sue...I'm  assuming  this  is  the  man  you  at one time  had  dinner  with  several  times  w/o  mutual  friends  from  the  club  you  both  are  a part  of   not  knowing about it  and  then    his  invites  for   dinner  stopped...?  You  sure  don't  want a repeat  of  the  last friend  you  lost whose  family did  not  have  facts  correct...

Suggestions here have been to possibly bring flowers to your hospitalized friend. Be sure that is OK before you do it. Some hospitals no longer allow them, especially in Intensive care units or if there are breathing issues or allergies. Fragrances can cause problems. Artificial flowers or a plant (like sedums) that does not smell would be OK.

I once worked in nursing homes and sometimes after a funeral kind people would bring many bouquets for us to hand out to patients. It created an extra chore for the nurses and aides, especially if the bouquets looked like funeral arrangements. We would try to remake the arrangement and put it (or them) in the offices, reception areas, other places with public access. Even then, believe it or not, some patients with dementia tried to eat the flowers!

It's one of those cases of  "can't win for losing".  So ASK ahead of time just to be certain.

Went to see him today, I compromised by saying I brought greetings from the group, which is true as none of the others seem inclined to visit, age etc being their excuse. I will pass on the news of visiting  him tomorrow. I got a sort of apology when he said that he hadn't been thinking of much beside the operation for the last couple of months. Assuming I was the same prior to the brain op I will just see what happens when he is well again. 

At  our  ages  kindness  and  taking  each  day  as  it  comes  is the  best  we  can  do...the  holidays always  evoke  strong  emotions for  folks  widowed  or  alone  and  older  as  we  are...You  could  always  ask  if  he  wants  you  to visit  again  or  just  see  how  his  recovery goes...you  have  enough experience  with  pastoral  care  to  have  a  good  sense  about  this. Prayers  for  his  recovery.

Okay, so I went twice to visit him he has to have a stent put in as well. I had another friend to visit at another hospital and came home exhausted. I am a fool sometimes.

Not  a fool  Sue.  You  just  have  to  remember  now  is  the time  to put yourself  first...you  have  for  so  long ministered  to  others  it  must  be difficult  to  see  to  your  needs regarding  your  healing.  The  older  we  get  the  more  likelihood of  health  considerations  becoming  the  norm. I  sure  do  not  like  it.   I  do  worry  about  getting  old  and being  alone.  These  are  new  feelings based  on  last  year's  ill  health.  Dread  the  holidays  more  and  more.  So  many  have  died or moved...reality  looms and  demands attention. Get  your  rest  and  try  to  keep  cool.   lj

Are you close to the forest fires or having difficulties breathing with all the smoke?

How long do they think your fire season might last? Sorry you have this added to your plate.

Stay safe and take good care of YOU.

Not close to the fires but they are burning in the hills behind the coast so if the wind blows from the west we have the smoky air. Yesterday I didn't drive I travelled by air-conditioned bus, so stayed cooler and the air was filtered too so didn't affect me. The fire season started a month early this year and doesn't really finish till May so a long hot summer will result in many more fires. I know I do too much this time of the year. Just a few weeks till Christmas and then January is more leisurely.

Nothing happening on the relationship front, guess it is mainly a diversion when life gets boring. Got my younger son and granddaughter here so plenty of company. I guess companionship is what I am looking for anyway.  No sense in worrying about it.

Do you have that figured out right; we get bored by ourselves.    I am getting ready to be living very close to my son/wife and even my grdau and her 3 little ones.  I don't think I will have time for any sort of relationship and I have decided that is just fine.   I met one guy and got dumped like a load of coal into a furnace, no thank you but I'm moving on or nothing.   One wanted a wife right now, wasn't gonna be me!    I, too, have decided not going to worry, not worth it and if God has another man he wants me to meet, the man will appear somewhere along life's path, just like the last one did.   If he does, I pray he's as good of man!

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