I am not a kid anymore I am 66. The last time I dated was 45 years ago. I am not sure that I want to date yet but am thinking maybe in the next year or so.
In the meantime I need a lot of help in HOW to date at my age. In the '60s as a late teen and in my early 20s I met most of those I dated at dances, I went on Friday and Saturday night around a country dance circuit. Now if I meet men it is mainly as part of a couple and not as singles.
I don't want to go into online dating or go to a meet up I am not ready for that. But I would like to find someone to go to the movies etc with.
Tell me your own experiences or where did you find that someone special?
I would not go to make a hospital visit immediately...send or drop off get well wishes or sm. bouquet of flowers for staff to give him... sounds a bit pushy visiting someone who has made it clear you and he are merely friends and will never be more.
If he is hospitalized for weeks or goes into hospice or long term care make your one visit at that time. You can pray for him as much as your heart moves you however. Just my suggestion as one who reads all your posts. Hugs lj
@only1sue: Are you actual friends, or are you "in the friend zone"? The former means you step up to the plate for each other in times of need, and the latter is "I'm not really attracted to you but I don't want to hurt your feelings." If the former, go see him. If the latter, send flowers or a note.
Sue...I'm assuming this is the man you at one time had dinner with several times w/o mutual friends from the club you both are a part of not knowing about it and then his invites for dinner stopped...? You sure don't want a repeat of the last friend you lost whose family did not have facts correct...
Suggestions here have been to possibly bring flowers to your hospitalized friend. Be sure that is OK before you do it. Some hospitals no longer allow them, especially in Intensive care units or if there are breathing issues or allergies. Fragrances can cause problems. Artificial flowers or a plant (like sedums) that does not smell would be OK.
I once worked in nursing homes and sometimes after a funeral kind people would bring many bouquets for us to hand out to patients. It created an extra chore for the nurses and aides, especially if the bouquets looked like funeral arrangements. We would try to remake the arrangement and put it (or them) in the offices, reception areas, other places with public access. Even then, believe it or not, some patients with dementia tried to eat the flowers!
It's one of those cases of "can't win for losing". So ASK ahead of time just to be certain.
Went to see him today, I compromised by saying I brought greetings from the group, which is true as none of the others seem inclined to visit, age etc being their excuse. I will pass on the news of visiting him tomorrow. I got a sort of apology when he said that he hadn't been thinking of much beside the operation for the last couple of months. Assuming I was the same prior to the brain op I will just see what happens when he is well again.
At our ages kindness and taking each day as it comes is the best we can do...the holidays always evoke strong emotions for folks widowed or alone and older as we are...You could always ask if he wants you to visit again or just see how his recovery goes...you have enough experience with pastoral care to have a good sense about this. Prayers for his recovery.
Okay, so I went twice to visit him he has to have a stent put in as well. I had another friend to visit at another hospital and came home exhausted. I am a fool sometimes.
Not a fool Sue. You just have to remember now is the time to put yourself first...you have for so long ministered to others it must be difficult to see to your needs regarding your healing. The older we get the more likelihood of health considerations becoming the norm. I sure do not like it. I do worry about getting old and being alone. These are new feelings based on last year's ill health. Dread the holidays more and more. So many have died or moved...reality looms and demands attention. Get your rest and try to keep cool. lj
Are you close to the forest fires or having difficulties breathing with all the smoke?
How long do they think your fire season might last? Sorry you have this added to your plate.
Stay safe and take good care of YOU.
Not close to the fires but they are burning in the hills behind the coast so if the wind blows from the west we have the smoky air. Yesterday I didn't drive I travelled by air-conditioned bus, so stayed cooler and the air was filtered too so didn't affect me. The fire season started a month early this year and doesn't really finish till May so a long hot summer will result in many more fires. I know I do too much this time of the year. Just a few weeks till Christmas and then January is more leisurely.
Nothing happening on the relationship front, guess it is mainly a diversion when life gets boring. Got my younger son and granddaughter here so plenty of company. I guess companionship is what I am looking for anyway. No sense in worrying about it.
Do you have that figured out right; we get bored by ourselves. I am getting ready to be living very close to my son/wife and even my grdau and her 3 little ones. I don't think I will have time for any sort of relationship and I have decided that is just fine. I met one guy and got dumped like a load of coal into a furnace, no thank you but I'm moving on or nothing. One wanted a wife right now, wasn't gonna be me! I, too, have decided not going to worry, not worth it and if God has another man he wants me to meet, the man will appear somewhere along life's path, just like the last one did. If he does, I pray he's as good of man!