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I am not a kid anymore I am 66.   The last time I dated was 45 years ago.  I am not sure that I want to date yet but am thinking maybe in the next year or so.

In the meantime I need a lot of help in HOW to date at my age. In the '60s as a late teen and in my early 20s I met most of those I dated at dances, I went on Friday and Saturday night around a country dance circuit.  Now if I meet men it is mainly as part of a couple and not as singles.

I don't want to go into online dating or go to a meet up I am not ready for that. But I would like to find someone to go to the movies etc with. 

Tell me your own experiences or where did you find that someone special?

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Shoot , Sue.  In my  book  a lively  phone  conversation  constitutes  a date if  there  are  two  people  exclusively  interacting  on the phone!  LOL  Your   friend  is in denial.  You  go out to dinner  with  someone  who  asked  you  out  for  dinner.  It is  a date.  Does  not mean dating?  So  would he call it  dinnering?   Or if  a  concert?  Concerting?   Or a movie...moving?  oh no.  LOL   Let's see.....To  church...churching?      a  day,  a time  a place?  It's a date !  He's the  one  confused,  not  you.   However,  "dating"  means  more  than  one  time.   My  expert opinion.  LOL

 

Very funny ......So true ...... a date is date there is no better definition.

That's a really good question.  When you're young, someone asks you out and it's a date.  Now?  Who knows?  In your case, I think what this man is telling you is that he enjoys your company but you are in the "friend zone."  He has actually done you a kindness by letting you know what HIS parameters are.  Then it is up to YOU to decide if you enjoy his company enough to be "just friends" or "casual acquaintances."  Because then you have to determine what each of your definitions of "friend" is.

Laurajay, most of the men in my life are in denial about something, this particular man hates the thought of being "involved" with someone. So of course he isn't dating! Best plan  is to laugh it  off and let it go I guess. I might  write the definitive book one day. " How to be a widow with a sense of humour". But that is not a reason for saying ''no" to an evening out, as long as it is not a date...lol.

They are in denial because (1)they aren't sure of what they want,(2)scared they will loss you if they let you know what their intentions are or (3)too shy to admit they want to be more than a friend.

Thanks for that feedback. I will wait for an opportunity to ask questions and see if he feels any of the motivations you've brought up. At the moment I am on eggshells myself as making a wrong move may lose me a group of friends not just the man himself as we have mutual friends.

Bergen, I have been on a few " just a friend" dates over the past four years. I am not looking for a husband, just someone to go out with occasionally. If the man who has taken me out a couple of times wants to keep it casual that is fine. If he wants to say it is not a date that is fine.But  if he then expects me to keep the diary open until he calls me again " it ain't gonna happen that way".

It is better you let your friend know from the onset what you both of you are because you might feel one way about the outing/relationship with him  while he feels the opposite,not everyone feel or think the way you do,we all think differently.....good we all now know that you not looking for a husband,the question is "does your friend know this "

Sue . your  question  asking  What  is dating?  got  me to thinking  more  so  I googled  and took  a  few minutes  to read  about  dating  at  this  link.  I would now  add  that  dating  as  70 some  yr  old   like  us are  concerned  does  include  some  romantic  or sexual activity  sooner  or  later.  But  for the  life of me  I still call  it a date  if I  get together  with  a friend  or relative  for  lunch  etc.   Anyway  it's  a fun  read.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating                   

 Interesting  what the article says  about  dating  re:Australia.      

 

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